Awakening
by Crimson-Midnight-Moon
Summary: Bella sighs, looking out to the ocean. Waves clashed onto the beach as wind blew her hair into a mess. It's been a while since she's felt normal and so relaxed. Normal is what Bella needed right now. Normal has unfortunately never been a part of Bella's dictionary since she's moved to Forks, WA. Just as Bella Swan gets used to simplicity, life comes and pulls the rug up under her.
1. Prologue

A/N: Hey everyone! Yeah, I know I have two other stories I should be focusing on, but when the writing worm hits, he uses force! Anyway, I hope you enjoy and yeah, it's just a prologue but so far I have three chapters written up! I'll post then every couple of days, or so. And if I don't update, assume I've started grad school! That will take priority, just like college has been the past years. Enjoy and R+R please, I want to know your thoughts through this. I don't want to give away too much in the story and the beginning chapter will be slow for character development. This will be a short chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, songs mentioned or anything else that I, myself did not create.

**Prologue**

Everything felt intense. Have you ever been able to see your surrounding so clearly that nothing made sense? I see everything, feel everything, hell, I even _taste _everything so clearly. My mind has never felt so clear before. It's the most intense feeling I've ever felt. I suppose that this is the moment that defined the rest of my life in a blink of an eye. Fr from the path I had in mind, but even so, as I stare at the people surrounding me…friends and family and I don't even know…I can feel their fear, I can feel their amosite for what I am and I should be scared of it, I should be telling them that I'm not a monster like they probably think and I should damn well not be feeling satisfied at making them feel all the things I've always been afraid of having aimed at me. Perhaps this a statement of who I really am…A sick sense of poetry that I am exactly something that no one wanted, not even those that pledged to love me for eternity. After all I am more then just a monster. I am one of the many awakenings of this life and trust me, I will not be the only one.


	2. Toxic Hearts

Toxic Hearts

It has been about a month since I skipped out of marring who was supposed to be the love of my life? Why you ask? Because the day before I was about to walk down the aisle, my father, Charlie Swan himself, told me that if I wasn't 100% ready to marry Edward Cullen, then I should not be walking down an isle to make a forever commitment. And after all of Jacobs begging that lead to nothing and the packs judgmental looks that I shrugged off, it turned out that I held my fathers opinion more to heart then anything that was "suggested" to me.

What happened was that I had a panic attack thinking about the marriage a day before. I was so excited and I couldn't wait and I was surprising some truth that I didn't want to see. I don't want to die…but I don't want to live forever either. My father sat me down after and told me his view. He explained what he saw in my and Edwards relationship and how toxic it was all around but even as he admitted this, he said even my relationship with Jacob was toxic. They where and it took me so long to open my eyes, to see the truth that I never wanted to see. Both Edward and Jacob would have ended being the exact same relationship in some way or form and they aren't all at fault. I should have listened, I should have seen how unhealthy my way of thinking was. I depend too much on someone else to bring me happiness after all these year of taking care of Renee and Charlie that I lost all sight the moment someone stepped forward and wanted to take care of me and I was selfish to let this go on in a way.

But today will be different. It has to be different. I've been seeing a Therapist on Charlie's advice and it may have been the second best advice he ever had given me. I've been working on my mental state, dealing with healthy boundaries and working on what I want for myself for once. For my future, that Ive never given an actual damn about. I could go on and on…but it's only been a month, and the process is a slow one, but a sure one. There was a moment when my therapist looked at me when we where talking and I opened up about everything.

"You see yourself as a follower, don't you?" She's asks, breaking me out of my thoughts. Not going to lie, it hurt to hear. I nod my head in silence. She smiled at me and took my hand in her's. "Bella, you've only come here for about three weeks you know. But I want you to know one thing, I see many girls like you, they thing they need to follow, that they don't have that voice. But I see something in you and you wont believe me when I tell you, but if you wanted to, you could be a leader. You could very well become that strong woman you imagined yourself as without someone else's help. You just have to work for it and it will not be an easy path, but first you will have to overcome your insecurities."

The moment of revelation hits more than once and it doesn't hurt any less each time. I am responsible for my own happiness and in that way I have counted on other people to make me feel this type of unhealthy happiness, a fake kind of happiness. "I don't really know how to go back to being that girl that was so independent." I tell her, ignoring eye contact. When she lets go of my hand, thats when I look up at her.

"Well, we're not going to go back to being that " independent girl" that you described to me. That girl wasn't healthy either. You've lived your whole life being the parent to your parents, meaning you've experienced nothing but toxic relationships in your life. This is something we're going to work on and find a way that works best for you. There will be a healthy balance where you can be an independent Bella while also feeling that vulnerability that makes us all human. It's a balance that will keep you sane and a life skill." She explains to me reassuringly. "Trust me, Bella. You will face so so so many challenges as you go down this path and you will feel like you want to give up but you're probably a lot stronger then you even know and as I've said, small steps."

All I can say is, "Okay."

XXX

After my session, I drove back home in the rain. It's always raining here and why wouldn't it? I'm starting to find it comforting instead of dreadful, but I'd still rather prefer the sun and the beach. I park my new (yet old) truck in the drive way and close the dark blue door.

"Hey Bella!" The excited voice of Seth shouts from the door. I send a small smile his way, situating my messenger back right on my shoulder.

"Hey Seth, you on patrol?" I question raising an eyebrow as I walk toward the teenage wolf.

Seth shrugs, his smile never leaves his face. It's a small gesture I've come to appreciate lately. "Mom needed me to drop something off for Charlie…I think they're really starting to like each other…you know…the _like-like _kind of way" He emphasized while making a heart shape with his fingers. I couldn't help but let out a laugh at his silliness and nudge him in the side with my elbow.

"Maybe I'll have a new brother soon." I raise my eyebrows suggestively. Seth throws his arm around me.

"Welp, we'll both have to get used to hearing my sister bitch for the rest of our lives."

"...Right" Leah still hates me. Honestly it's not that I care too much about what she thinks of me, but if Charlie and Sue get together, I'd like to at least be in the same room with her without getting glared at.

I shrug Seth's arm off me as I walk into the house, "Hey Dad, I'm home." I say into the kitchen.

"Whats up Slugger? How was the session today?" Dad greets back. I glance back at Seth. It's not that they don't know that I'm going to Therapy…Hell, I'm sure the whole town knows by now, but that doesn't mean I'm not a bit uncomfortable talking about what happens during session infant of anyone but my dad. Charlie has become my rock, as hard as it is to believe. I told my Therapist and she said that right now, the relationship with my dad is the healthiest that I've ever had. I let out a sigh, "Pretty good. She told me some insightful stuff…I'll tell you later…I'm gonna but my stuff in my room. See you later, Seth."

He gives me a nod and I make my way up to my room.

"Is she doing okay?" I hear the young boy ask before I close the door to my room. Putting my stuff in the desk chair, I throw myself onto my bed. Everyone is always wondering "How is Bella doing? Is she okay? Did Edward leave her again? Is this happening again?" It's frustrating and it's the challenges I was warned about. What's the most frustrating about all of this, is not that I even left Edward, it's just the goddam revelation that I was never happy and that for once I feel like there isn't a chip on my shoulder and that there is someone else I have to make happy. I guess it's like Marina, my therapist said…it's only gonna get harder from here on out, but eventually I do believe that I can feel a true happiness that doesn't make me feel like I have to choose any type of side.


	3. As a Bird

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. But please, leave a Review, let me know what you think! Also, this has not been edited, so sorry if the grammar sucks. Also, I have a MacBook and I don't know how to turn off autocorrect, so there might be some of those issues.

As a Bird

It has been an entire eight weeks since I ditched my own wedding. My days are very much built on routine now. Wake up, jog (I do that now), shower, eat breakfast with dad is he's not on shift, go to my sessions for an hour (which are free at the community college in Port Angeles), go to my job in the Port Angeles Library for six hours a day with the weekends off, and then go home, make or grab dinner, eat with Charlie if he's not on shift or at Sue's, go to bed, and repeat. It's a routine and it's boring…but it works.

Where do I put in time with friends? Well, I haven't heard from the Cullen's in a while, partially my doing. I've been avoiding them like the plague and Alice can try as much as she wants to, I'm not going to change my mind and marry Edward or become a part of that family. As for the Pack? Well, since my dad is now officially dating Sue Clearwater, we've been eating at their place every Sunday so I see Seth and sometimes Leah, when she's not being a total up stuck bitch. Yes, there I said it, I think Leah Clearwater is a downright bitch and I don't care. Anyway, once in a while I'll see Jake as well, but thats awkward and so is the rest of the pack. Emily and I have had a pretty good conversation once so theres that. It's fucking awkward.

I get most of my social time with people at my job. It sounds like nothing, but at least there isn't a past and judgment to worry about. Either my coworkers or other people who frequently visit, they are fun to talk to and it's honestly so nice not to have any obligations to anyone as selfish as it sounds. Marina says that that's okay for now, just not to shut my self out completely, maybe go out with some of my coworkers for a meal or something like that. It makes sense of course but these are me taking baby steps. Normal and Human is what I'm looking for right now.

"-Can you pass the mash?" I hear from across the table. My eyes shoot up to look into hateful brown eyes staring back at me.

"What?" I ask confused. Leah frowns at me some more. Great..make her hate you some more.

"The potatoes, Swan. Can you pass me the goddamn-" "Leah!" Sue interrupts sending her daughter a look as a warning. Leah sighs and grunts as she forces a smile that scares me a lot more then her wolf form ever could.

"I'm _sorry, Bella. _I mean, could you _pretty please _pass me the mashed potatoes, _dear?_" I'm pretty sure I felt the temperature drop by like… a thousand degrees. I mean everyone, meaning Seth, Dad, Sue, and myself all stared at Leah like she grew five heads. I just grabbed the bowl and handed it to her, "Here" and turned back to my food.

"Oh-kay." Seth let out and followed my lead. Sue let out an irritated sigh. There's a lot of sighing during these dinners.

"Anyway!" Sue chips in and turns to me, "Bella, hows the new job going?"

I tilt my head a little to the side, thinking of what to say, "Pretty good I guess." This is followed by silence…Ah, I guess I should elaborate, " Umm, it's not that bad really. A little boring when it's slow, but we do have some regulars that come in and keep it interesting, like Mr. Jackson. He's always coming in, talking about his newest collection, I really don't know why he comes to the library if he owns as many books as he talks about." I laugh a little bit at the thought of .

"Oh, well it sounds like you like it then." Sue smiles. I nod smiling back at her. The rest of dinner is a little more talkative between everyone, with Leah only giving one word answers or grunts. Whatever.

After eating Charlie and Sue have plans to go down for a walk at the beach. "Would you kid's like to join us?" Charlie questions. I raise an eyebrow at him and shake my head.

"Erm, nah but thanks…I'm eating with some friends." Seth answers and waving bye to everyone. Leah gives a "No thanks" and follows behind Seth. Probably Pack stuff. I turn to my dad, "I'm gonna go for a run or something. I'll be back in an hour or so."

"Ok, be careful Bells!" He hugs me real quick before heading out with Sue.

I go and change my clothes in the bathroom to my running attire, which is just some light grey fitted jogging pants, my white Nike's and a grey cropped hoodie from pink. Not something I used to wear but for some reason I found the outfit cute and for once actually liked things like this one me. I close the house door behind me and put my hair into a high ponytail. Last, lets turn on my Spotify playlist and get ready to get into my zone as 'Holding out for a Hero' by Nothing but Thieves starts playing.

I run down the path of the beach opposite of the direction Sue and my dad said they where going.

Running feels great. It feels like all my insecurities melt away and I feel in absolute control. Ha! What irony! I think as I listen to the song. Heroes are so overrated! Compared to the feeling of this freedom I'm feeling right now, I don't need anyone trying to save poor little Bella anymore. Nope, I need to be my own Hero and no matter what, I keep thinking about Marinas words _"Become the strong woman you imagine yourself as without anyone else help." _It's in these moments that I feel like I will be one day. I believe in myself. I have too. The song shifts.

_"__Look daddy! I can fly!" A smaller Bella laughs as a younger Charlie holds her up in the air and spins in circles._

_"__You are slugger, look how high! You're gonna go places honey!" Her dad laughs with her. _

_"__Daddy's coming with me right?" Little Bella giggles as her father drops her and catches her in his arms again, holding her to him._

_"__Ah, daddy wishes…but you know there will be a time when your daddy can't go with you." He bops her nose with his finger. She wrinkles her nose and looks up at him in confusion._

_"__Why?" She asks full of innocence. Charlie looks out into the ocean and points his finger to the birds._

_"__You see them?" Bella looks up and nods. "Birds stay with their babies long enough to teach them how to fly, be independent little birds of their own so they can grow big and strong and once they decide that their baby bird is strong enough, they kick them out of the nest so they can fly even higher." Bella had tears in her eyes as she looks at her dad, frightened._

_"__You're going to kick me out of the house!" She squeals through tears. Charlie eyes widen in fear._

_"__No NO! Baby thats not what I mean! I mean..," He looks around in a panic and sits her down on a driftwood and wipes her tears, "Bella, I just meant that one day you're gonna be a strong bird and you'll leave the nest as well, when you're ready of course… I would never kick you out. Trust me, it's going to be a while till then. I love you, Bella." He promises her. _

_Bella looks up at her dad and nods her little head, sniffing her nose. She moves to throw her tiny arms around her dads neck, "Love you too, daddy." He heard her say muffled in his shirt. He smiles and hugs her back._

I stop in my track as that memory pops into my head. I blink my eyes a couple times and feel something wet down my cheek and look up. The sky is blue…huh. Tears. I'm crying and I can't seem to stop. That little girl wanted to be a bird, she wanted to go wherever she wanted to, be free, and loved life. When did that stop?

In that moment I wanted to do nothing more then throw myself in the sand and cry, but I can't do that. No, I don't want to do that. I'm not that little girl anymore, I'm not any of the other little girls anymore that I turned into. I'm now. I'm this Bella that needs to move forward form the shitty things that have happened in my life. I'm free. I'm strong. I'm going to take a breath, let myself feel all the things I need to feel, let out a breath, and look forward to being my best self, as cliche as it sounds.

I stretch my muscles again and start running again.

I ignored the eyes I felt on my back. Pack business has nothing to do with me.


	4. A Questionable Decision

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight. Enjoy and let me know what you think in the reviews!

**A Questionable Decision **

I've lost count of the weeks that have gone by since I ditched my Edward at the altar. I've grown less afraid of admitting that I was the one to do so and while the guilt still lingers, I know I've made the right decision. My sessions with Marina have gone down to once a week since then; progress has been made. I can't really feel my progress as I don't feel much different. Baby steps.

It's Saturday today, almost the end of September. I roll over on my side and look at my clock; 9:45 a.m.

"Uuuhhhhrrr!" Growning, I throw myself into my pillow again. "I don't want to work today…just…a few more minutes."

"Bell's, you awake?" came the knock on the door. Never mind.

"yeah."

"I'm off today so I'll be heading off to Billy's alright? I'll see ya later kiddo."

"Uhuh, see you later dad." I say through the comfort of my pillow. Hearing footsteps go down the stairs, I slowly sit up with a huff. Why in the hell did I decide to take on this extra shift? I could have had a lazy weekend, but nooooooo! Whatever.

Getting up sucks, but I got my clothes anyway and made my way to the bathroom. The first thing I do is look in the mirror. Jesus. My face not only feels like I dunked it in oil, it looks like it too and my hair no different. I blink. Double Jesus. I'm sure the wolves in LaPush heard my eyelids scratch. Sigh. Time to get this ready and over with.

XXX

"Bella, do we have this Book?" Natalie, my manager asks showing me a paper.

"No, someone checked that one out yesterday."

"Thank you!" I nod at her and make my way to the break area. I've been here since twelve and after three hours I need food; which basically consists of a remade salad from the deli down the road.

"What're you eating?" a judgmental voice says.

"Please fuck off." This salad tastes like shit. The owner of the judgment takes a seat next to me, his tall frame, lanky hovering over me.

"So mean? I was just asking a question."

I turn to the tall annoyance that has been working here for about three weeks now. "Are you bored, Danny?" He nods his head and whines,

"There's nothing to do! No stupid loud kids glare at, even Mr. Jackson hasn't been in yet. Be my savior Bella, I beg you!" I roll my eyes as he dramatically slides his arms onto the dinning room table. In the past three weeks of getting to…kind of know this guy, I've learned that he is your typical 17 year old who is still going through puberty as his voice cracks here and there and an ego of 300 men put together. Have I mentioned that he's also annoying? Talks way to much about stuff no one cares about and watches one too many Youtube videos

"So you've come to annoy me?"

"Yes."

There was awkward silence as I continue to eat my salad while ignoring him. Until he spoke again.

"Hey Bella?" I hummed in response, " What do you do for fun?" I stop for a second…What do I do for fun? Good question Daniel…I shrug my shoulders, "Read."

I feel a hand on my shoulder and the next thing I know, I'm being yanked to face him. What the actual fuck?

"Seriously? Read?" He raises an eyebrow at me. I throw his hand off of me and glare at him.

"Yes, read. What's your problem?" I say in defense. People read for fun!

"Okay, yeah you read, but is that all you do? A girl like you should be out there having the time of her life, not wasting away reading in let me guess… a dark lonely room?" He mocks, I glare harder.

"I didn't mean that you idiot! I do have a live you know and I don't own you an explanation."

He stares at me for a moment. This is getting down right uncomfortable. "You're right, sorry." He turns away, eyes cast down, his apology actually genuine. He looks like a kicked puppy. Silence grows again.

"Well what else do you do?" aaaannd it's gone.

"I run." I swear his ears perked up and he turns to look at me, his whole face bright as the sun.

"Me too! See, we have something in common!"

I lean back "Oh…kay?"

"Oh, are you busy after work? We get off at the same time!" I imagine him as a tall puppy, but not like the guys at LaPush…just a tall puppy, ears up and tail wagging.

"Uhhhmmm I don't kno-" I get cut off.

"Okay cool, I'll meet you outside in the lot, I want to take you to a place I go to!"

"I'm not into drugs!" I blurt out. What is happening right now? But he shakes his head, "Neither do I, but trust me, you might like it and the guys there are kind of scary and I really just don't wan to go alone. This is gonna be so cool, we're going to have so much fun!" And he gets up and sprints out the door without letting me answer. I blink again. What just happened?

Well whatever, I never agreed to anything. After work I will just sneak out and drive off before he catches me. Freaking weirdo.

xxx

So tell me why I'm standing out by the door waiting on Daniel to get packed up? No please, someone, tell me what motivated me to make this decision. This terrible, terrible decision. God, Bella, why? I throw my head back in annoyance.

"Great! You waited on me!" I turn around to be met with excited eyes that turn confused as they look me up and down. I stare blankly at him.

"What?"

"You're not wearing that, right?"

I look down at my attire; Jeans, sneakers, blue t-shirt, and a light jacket "What's wrong with what I'm wearing? I don't even know where were going? Or why I'm playing along with this!"

The tall brunette purses his lips and shakes his head, "You're gonna need proper attire for the gym, Bella."

The gym? I stare blankly.

xxx

Sure enough, this creep meant the gym.

"Why are we at a gym?" I ask in disbelieve.

"Urg, didn't you listen to anything I said? I wanted a gym buddy and you run so it works out!"

I can't help but look at this guy in disbelieve. How can I understand anything he's saying when he talks like 200 miles an hour and we're not even friends!

"Yeah, what does running have to do with this type of gym?" I look at the place in front of us. Eddies Boxing Gym. Boxing…I run, not box!

He looks at me, then at the gym and it's like he got slapped by a ton of bricks "OH"

"Oh? Yeah oh? Are you stupid?" I growl in frustration. His face flushes as he scratches the back of his neck.

"I mean, you can still like, do stuff? Anyway, come on, maybe you'll like it! And lets be honest, you need it as much as I do!" He defended pointing at my arms, my skinny arms…

"Screw you." He smiles innocently at the comment. I get out of the passengers seat and just stand there. I should call a taxi. I shouldn't have driven with him. I internal sigh; here I go with the bad decisions again.

"Come on." He waves at me to come toward him. I let out another sigh and close my eyes. _Well, to late now _I grab my running clothes that I always carry. We walk inside and he gestures toward the women's changing room. Huh, at least I won't be the only female.

Unfortunately, I was wrong. Fuck.

Yep, as you guessed, as I finished changing and walked out into the actual part of the gym, I was met with the stares of what felt like a den of wolves as loud music…pretty sure it's Rap…blares through the room. I shift uncomfortably on my feet as I look around for Daniel.

Thank god I didn't have to look for long. I've never felt so relieved to the this annoying boy before. I walk toward him and he smiles at me, so I send him a lobb sided one back. He puts his hand on the back of my shoulder and tears me into a direction; away from the watching eyes of men I hope.

"Com'on, I want to introduce you to Eddie." Never mind, screw you Daniel. I stay quiet as we walk up to a short, bulky old man, "Yo, Eddie, I wanna introduce you to my friend!"

'Eddie' turns to me and looks me up and down and then turns to Danny "You're a goddamn idiot kid. You din't think before you brought her here did ya? She's shaking like a leaf!" He turns around to the other guys staring, "Buncha Bastards stop starin' like you aint never seen a woman before!" He turns his gaze to me and stretches out his hand ,"I'm Eddie, an' you're?"

"Bella." I answer in a low voice. He nods at me, "Don' worry bout them fellas, they look bign' scary, but they got long ways to go. This your first time at a place like this?" I nod my head because what else do you say in this situation? This crazy bastard of a Danny dragged me here?

He turns to said boy and glares at him "Go over there and punch a few with Decan, I'll take care of her."

Danny nods his head and sends me a nervous smile before going over to a corner where some big muscly bald guy was hitting the bag faster then I would believe humanly possible. I gulp and glance at the old man.

"Come on, I got a pair of glove for you. Since I don't trust these guys here to teach you properly, I'll do it myself." Huh? " I don't know why he would bring you here, don' get me wrong we just don' get lotta females round here that come to box." He looks me up and down again, probably judging my thin frame. "You run?"

"Yes sir." I don't know what to dress him, polite seems the right direction.

"Call me Eddie." "Okay"

"You didn't have to come here, but you did anyway… means some part of you is interested so I'll teach you and no offense lil girl…you look like you need it."

Gee, thanks.


	5. Breathin'

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Just as a precaution****some of the things that happen in this story may not all make sense and seem random, but it is all part of my plan. Enjoy and Review; let me know if you have any question or what you think in general. :) **

**Breathin'**

Why is it that everything is always ten times louder when we try to be careful at night? I hiss at the door to be quite as I enter the house, "Stupid door!" _Squuwwwwweeeeeeeeeee_. I'm sure that's the doors way of telling me to go screw myself. Actually, I'm like 100% sure of it when the light turns on in the hallway up the stair. I kick the door slightly before closing it shut.

"Bella? You're home late?" Charlie questions awkwardly looking down to me.

"Yeah sorry, I was out with…a kind of friend." I explain, looking around toward the kitchen. It was littered with empty beer cans, "Was Billy over?" I turn just in time as my dad looks away embarrassed.

"Sorry, I'll clean it up in the morning." I shake my head at this.

"I'll do it, don't worry dad."

"Oh, thanks…anyway what friends?" Curiosity lingers in his voice and I sigh again. A habit I can't break.

"From work, we just went to the gym." I wave off. Hopefully he won't ask to many questions. I'm not sure my dad of all people is ready to hear about his daughter taking up boxing as a sport…outlet.

The god's answer my preyers as he perks up at this, "Oh great! I feel a lot better you won't be alone. Just let me know if you're going to be late okay, sweetheart? It's already Eleven." I didn't know I was out so late and I got off of work at six, which means I spent four and a half hours at that gym. I nod at him and we bid each other goodnight.

I clean the kitchen a bit and think over this crazy day. Who knew that Danny would actually introduce me to boxing? I actually enjoyed myself tonight and Eddie, although tough, seems like he actually gives a damn in some kind of way. I wouldn't call him nice, that just seems too…nice? I don't know.

I clean the kitchen a little more, before calling it a night and going up to my room. Changing into sleeping clothes never felt so good, even if I smell like sweat. Ill just shower in the morning, I'm too tired. My body literally shutters as I lay down in happiness as I close my eyes and stretch.

Clank! Clank!Clank! I jump out of my skin and roll over. I get up and go over to my window looking behind my curtain to be met with russet abs. Jacob? Why? He looks at me with concerned eyes and gestures to me to open the window. I shake my head.

"Please Bella! I want to talk to you!" He pleads, one hand against the frame. I look the boy whom I still considered my best friend in the eyes. No matter how big and muscly he got, his eyes would always remind me of the little boy I forced to eat mudpies; young and innocent. I laugh internally, as if I'm really that much older.

"We can talk like this can't we?" I need to stay stubborn and build boundaries, especially after tonight…

I watch Jake let out a grunt in frustration, "Fine!" He finally says turning his eyes to look at me "…there's a bonfire tomorrow night. I just wanted to invite you, since you'll be on the reservation anyway." Yeah, the weekly LaPush lunch/dinner at Sue's, I know all to well…

"Thank's but…I have plans tomorrow after dinner." I look at the tree bark right behind him, avoiding his eyes. It wasn't a lie. I did have plans tomorrow night…it turns out I like boxing more then I thought.

"Bella…Bells…I know you're going through this whole thing but please don't shut us, me, out. You're still welcome with us, please don't forget that." He vouched with a hint of desperation.

I shook my head at this, " I know I know, that's really not what I want to do but, I just need normal right now Jake. I can't keep jumping from one supernatural family to another when things don't go the way I wanted. I…" looking up at his eyes I can't help it, tears are forcing their way out, " I don't want to keep hurting everyone around me because something inside of me doesn't feel right."

"But you're fine the way you are, there isn't anything wrong with you!" He defends. Why does he sound so desperate?

"That's the problem Jake, stop trying to enable me!" I hiss though the tear, this has been the issue in this friendship, at least when it comes to these romantic relationships. Being enabled and measured has been the bane of my existence. I've always been insecure so of course it would give me that 'feel good' chemical. "When I'm ready to not feel like my entire existence depends on the reassuring words of people and actually feel like I'm good enough then I'll come talk to you, but right now I need you to leave okay." I slam the curtain shut and lean back against my purple colored walls until I hear the light shuffling of leafs and a slight 'tut'. I slide down to the floor and more tears are coming out. I wipe my face and try my best to ground myself.

I look to my left. My desk. Okay, breath. In front of me, the door. And to the right…my bed. Breath. .Three. Stand up and breath again. "I've got this." I mumble letting out a breath. Sniff. I make it to my bed and grab my sleeping clothes. Let's think about something else while I change…Like should I bring something tomorrow to Sue's? Dessert, I can bake, that usually helps calm me down. I look at the clock on my night stand; 12:30 a.m., well, I'm not gonna be able to sleep right now anyway so might as well.

**xxx**

"Bell's you ready to go?" Charlie shouts from downstairs. God, I'm tired. I was up till 2:00 a.m. baking like four pies. I vaguely hear Marina scowling at me in the back of my mind; Sleep deprivation isn't healthy and a step back in our progress.

"I'll down in a second!" I respond to him. Just grab my bag of fresh running clothes. Frowning down at the tattered backpack, I might need some proper gym clothes if the gym becomes a new part of my life. My sweats are great for running, but they're also staring to be worn out…and a new bag.

I yawn barely getting out a proper, "Mornin" to my dad.

He raises his eyebrow at me, "Did you stay up all night making Pie's?"

Nodding at him, I make a grab for the coffee, more specifically, my dads coffee and I swear to god, I could feel my soul coming back into my body as I take big sips "Hmmm" Life felt great.

"…that's my coffee Bells…"

"Yep" we share a moment of silence.

"Okay, well, lets get this stuff packed up and hit the road." He beams, his character suddenly sounding oddly cheery. Is this really me dad? It's so odd seeing him so…bright? Is that the right word? Happy? You get the idea. It's odd and honestly? I couldn't be happier for him. Finally he's going out there and has someone to share his happiness with.

Grabbing the containers with the pies, I walk out the door behind Charlie and tell him I'll be taking my own car. Still deep in thought as we make the drive to LaPush. I might have not married Edward, the man I thought I would spend literally all my life with, would have turned into a vampire, for gods sake.

It's only been nearly 3 months since then when I really think about it. I wonder how he's doing? I think the Cullens went up to Denali, and I only get an email now from Alice once in a while, letting me know that everyone is doing okay. It's not like I've just stopped caring about everyone, it's just that after I called it off and I looked at the heartbreak in Edwards eyes the guilt overtook me and I didn't know how to face anyone after that. A week later I sat down in therapy and I just sobbed like a baby, explaining everything as best as I could leaving out the supernatural parts. I remember sitting there, having reality hit me in the face of the situation when Marina told me that a lot of it is coming from a dark place, the need to be taken care of for once, being a child of divorce with a flighty mother…the abandonment issues have been craved into my soul long before Edward ever left me in the forest, but that made it so much more worse. And my relationship with Edward and Jacob was so toxic, each trying to make me choose between them, confusing me, trying to control me in some way and it was all just too much. All these realizations, it really made me feel my emotions for once and it was like the dam just broke and with it came all my anxieties I wanted to surprise because I didn't know how to let my voice truly be heard. Doing what's best for me, it means setting boundaries until I'm ready to talk about it without having someone try to baby me, mother me, or whatever else and last nights panic attack after Jake left just proved that I'm not ready yet.

I come out of my thoughts when I see the grey colored house. I arrive a second after Charlie. Getting out of the car, I barely have time to think before I'm lifted into the air and squeezed tight.

"Hi, Seth, pleas let me down!" I squeal out as I'm trying to get the air into my lungs. He lets me down the second after.

"Sorry!" He laughs, "Hi Bella." I watch him sniff the air and roll my eyes, Boys. "Is that pie!*sniff*Apple Pie!" He opens the back door of the car and grabs the container, "Hey Charlie!" He waves as he runs inside with them.

"Hey kid!" Charlie waves and turns to the tall dark-haired woman who just barely steps to the side as her son barrels past. Shaking her head, she turns back to Charlie and makes her way to him, a smile on her face as she leans up to kiss him on the cheek. My dads face goes red like a lobster as he whispers a small "Hey babe" and goes in for a hug and kiss of his own. They're cute in a disgusting kind of way and I'm his daughter so I can say that. A small blush grows on Sue's face and she turns to me "How are you Bella?"

"I'm good, but not as good as you?" I tease her and they both look away embarrassed. Yeah, this is fun.

"I'm well, thank you. Was Seth carrying something inside?" She asks bewildered. I nod, "I made some dessert. It's just apple pies, ummm, there's four, so lets hope he doesn't eat them all before lunch, I better go check on them!" I excuse myself, giving them privacy and walk in the house.

"Seth, those are for everyone!" I lecture just in time to see him eyeing one of the apple pies.

"But there's four of them? You guys can't eat that much and I'm a growing boy." He whined pointing at the container then himself.

"At least wait till after lunch?" I taped his shoulder as I close the box.

"Fiiinneee." Seth pouts and flops down on the chair.

Dad and Sue make their way inside holding hands. Cute, but gross. Seth smiles at them, "Are we gonna eat soon, I'm starving!" His mother sends him a look of disbelieve,

"I doubt you can starve at all, you're going to eat me out of house and home if you keep eating like a wolf." The boy purses his lips and looks down a his lap, although it's not like she's wrong, her pun was entirely intended. "Set the table darling. Is Leah coming, do you know?" Seth shakes his head,

"Leah's got work today." He simply states. Nodding at his answer, she grabs the plates and hands them to him. Leah has to patrol.

"Can I help with anything?" I offer looking around the kitchen, noticing the food already set in the proper serving dishes.

"Oh, thank you, could you bring the some of the food out?" She asks gratefully . I take the dishes and bring them out, Seth has already finished setting the table. "Here you go." I set them out on the table and by the time I placed the last dish, I turned to see Seth waiting with the rest. Urg, sometimes I wished I had the speed and strength so I could be more helpful.

Seth noticed me spacing out and waves his hand in front of my face, "Yo, Bella? Yuu-hoo…" I blink at him and shake my head. I'm about to open my mouth to talk to him when a knock was heard on the door. I look questionably at the younger wolf as his eyes grow irritated. "Who is it?" I wan to ask, but I get my answer when I hear Sue greeting them at the door,

"Oh, Paul? What are you doing here?"

Ah, now I understand why Seth looks so annoyed. Paul Lahote, the most temperamental wolf of them all, also the guy whom face I smashed my fist into, injuring myself more, the guy that hates vampires and probably also me, with a passion…that Paul. Oh jesus why?

I don't really pay attention to the rest of their conversation, but something must have gone incredibly wrong, because the next thing I know is Sue coming into the dinning room telling us that Paul would join us for lunch. Seth grumbles in annoyance and Sue sends him a meaningful look.

Charlie comes into the room and also looks a bit uncomfortable with Paul following behind him. Paul looks, well…hot? Uhh, no, fierce…fiercely hot…Look away Swan! I glance back at the wolf in question and see him sending me a displeased look, before turning his gaze to the table full of food.

"Lets eat!" Sue chirps nervously, looking between everyone. Oh, this might top that dinner with Leah yet!

**xxx**

Lunch…went over more smoothly then that dinner with Leah last time. Paul acted like an okay gentleman, answer when spoken too, he was basically polite and I'm not even sure why I thought that he would explode into a giant furrbal right at the table. Probably because Jake gave me the everlasting impression that Paul was an uncontrollable beast that could eat me for dinner in one bite.

I'm sitting in the living room, waiting for my Dad and Sue to finish cleaning the dishes, and seeing as they probably want to be alone, I didn't protest when my dad basically shooed me into the living room. Seth said he had to go to a friends, translating over to having patrol most likely. So tell me why I'm currently sitting in the living room of the Clearwater's, sitting across from said temperamental wolf while looking at literally anything but him?

…No, please, someone, tell me why he's even still here? He looks like he wants to be anywhere but here! I think about all the reasons Paul is here, when there isn't one damn reason for him to be.

"…." God this silence makes me want to jump from that cliff again.

Something on my face must have given away my aggravation, because he speaks up,

"You alright there, Swan?" I hear him grumble and I look over to him. He's looking at me up through his supper long lashes. How can someone look so pretty and menacing at the same time? I wonder…I shake my head out of those disturbing thoughts.

"I'm fine, great actually! What about you? Are you alright?" I shot back at him. A smirk welcomes his face slowly and I my face is red and what…the hell is happening. I look away.

"Doing pretty well myself. I mean…I should probably thank you after running the Cullens out of town." Wow…he's not pulling his punches, is he? And…how dare he? He has no right to talk to me like that!

My eyes snap over to him, and for the first time in my life, I actually looked him in the eyes, glaring full force at his comment. A wave of anger washes over me like I've never felt before and I stand up and I take a step closer to him looking him deeper in the eyes. I don't done what came over me the next second and grind through my teeth "Fuck you."

My words must have had some kind of effect, because he looks up at me, with wide eyes, pupils dilated from…shock? I don't know, and I don't care long enough to stay and find out. I turn around and storm out of the room, past dad and Sue.

"Bell's? Where are you going?" I can barely hear my dad as I head for the door and turn back at him, trying to calm my anger, "Going to the gym. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I had plans afterward today and…I think you want privacy anyway, right." I try to excuse, not looking him in the eye.

I know that by now, he's probably frowning at me, we may stile kind of awkward to one another, thats just our relationship, but he's my dad and he knows me, evidently. Even so, I look up at him and see his lips pursed, "Okay, just be careful…Call me if you're gonna be out late again. Love you, Bells." I pause for a moment, "Alright, Love you too dad…see you next week Sue, have fun!" I wave goodbye and speed walk to my car. I really couldn't leave here faster, but before I hit the road, I send a message to Danny; _I'm heading to the gym, b there in 30. _I didn't wait for a response though and as I pull onto the street.

I thought I saw a grey wolf running off into the woods. For some reason it just made my anger grow more and I wanted to punch Paul Lahore in the face once again.


	6. Progress

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

**I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed Awakening! Your words mean a lot and I hope you continue to read and enjoy :) Also I wanted to add that the word length for all my chapters are a bit inconsistent because I kind of just write out my scenes without taking into account how long they take sometimes, so I stop them when I think it's best to stop them at. But anyway, read and review; let me know what you think!**

**Progress**

Was I overreacting about this whole thing? I thought as I punched the bag harder while imagining it was Paul's face, letting out a grunt. Nope, not even a little bit. I punch again.

"Uhhh.." The lanky Burnett holding the pushing bag lets out, "Are you mad at someone?" I punch some more. God, if someone told me punching would feel this good, I might've taken the sport up in high school.

"Fine." I breath out through gritted teeth. Danny bites his bottom lip at my lie but doesn't say more. In that moment, I found some quality about Danny that I actually appreciated. He knows how to read a situation when it counted, because something in my gut tells me that I would have pushed him instead of the bag.

**xxx**

"I've been boxing at the gym." Is the first thing to leave my mouth as I take a sit on the comfortable couch in Marinas office. I look up to see her non-judgmental eyes looking at me.

"Oh? Tell me about it." She coaxed. The dam breaks, I tell her everything that happened the past week, from my confrontation with Jake, to Paul's unnecessary comment that set something off, to my feelings of helplessness recurring and about how boxing felt so _good _and it being such a good outlet for anger.

You see, Marina doesn't judge, her eyes stay calm, the atmosphere feels safe and when she smiles at me and tells me that it's okay to feel helpless and that my reaction to Paul is may have been an overreaction in itself, but not when you count all the feelings of Anger that I've been holding back, that when the dam broke, it was like the stages of grief and I've finally become angry about it all, it was natural. However, that didn't give me an excuse to go around and act like a volcano at everything, so in case my anger got worse, I needed to be careful.

I felt good after that session. Marina doesn't tell me things I like to hear, she's honest, she points out when I'm the one who fucked up, but she also validates my feelings and actions where it is needed. It's the non judgmental air, no matter what I say, that makes it such a rewarding experience.

**xxx**

It's been about three weeks since I started to box and my dad is starting to grow suspicious. It's not that I don't want to tell him, but I'm still not sure how he'd react to his little girl punching bags and now, also learning some martial arts.

Eddie has apparently noticed that I have some kind of 'talent' in the field, he puts it, something about having the right kind of passion for the sport, so why not also teach me martial arts? And I've noticed changes, real physical changes in myself, too.

I've gained a healthy amount of weight and a subtle amount of muscle, honestly it's barely noticeable, and I'm lean and more flexible now, it's strange, I don't trip much anymore so that's a bonus. It helps that I got to the gym about nearly about everyday. Unfortunately, that also comes with its setbacks, like having to wear bandages around my hands because of bruising. Luckily dad hasn't noticed or choose to ignore it. Marina says I should tell him, that it's not going to help our relationship if I'm scared to tell hi these things, but I want to wait until I'm ready, whenever that might be. A plus is that I made some more friends at the gym, they are all men, but that's not anything new in my life and it helps that they all regard me…kind of equally…basically, I kicked Danny's lights out a week ago, which I apologized for afterward. Danny was mad, for like, five minutes and ever since regards me as 'Bella-sama' it's so damn annoying, and I'm lying that I'm not enjoying it a little…The boy watches too much anime.

Right now, however, I'm standing in front of my closet trying to figure out what to wear. It's mid October and it's chilly in Forks. Also, I finally had the courage to agree to come to a public bonfire on First Beach. The cold had never really bothered me though, has it? I roll my eyes at my own mockery. Glaring at the clothes, I spot something in my closet that I bought on a shopping trip with my mom a while back and I say fuck it! I'm feeling cute lately so, grey high wasted skinny jeans and my white cropped Nike hoodie it is. I put on the outfit and look in the mirror, my butt looks good in the jeans, my legs long, and you can see a bit of my toned stomach through the space between the jeans and hoodie. And oh, look the hoodie actually makes my boobs look good. I blink at my reflection and…I smile, genuinely smile. I look good. I mean I look good and healthy, even my face looks full, yet defined. I looked like a strong woman instead of a timid little girl.

Progress!

I turn from my reflection and grab my phone and head down to see my dad waiting on me.

"Are you ready to go?" I smile at him. He looks taken aback for a second but smiles back.

"Sure am Bells." He looks me over and raises a brow, but just tells me, "You look healthy. I guess the gyms been doing you good?" He pried a little.

"Yeah! I like it and I've even made some friends. One of the friends I made likes to, umm, box…so they've been teaching me some self defense." I lift my hands to him. What the hell, might as well tell him some of it, it's not the whole truth but I hope it's good enough. I watch his eyes grow wide.

"It's a good skill to learn…especially now a days." He reasoned noting his head up and down tilting his head. I let out a sigh of relief on the inside, oh that was scary for a second! "Just be careful not to get punched okay?" He jokes and I laugh,

"Sure, dad…now are we gonna get this show on the road?" He grabs his stuff and responds, "Yeah, lets go, are you driving?" I grab the keys from him and roll my eyes.

"We're going to a bonfire…and Billy is going to be there with more beer then you need. Yeah, I'm driving." We make our way outside when my dad stops us for a second.

"Hey Bella?" He stops. I turn to him questionably. He walks up to me and puts a hand on my shoulder, "I'm really proud of you, I hope you know that kiddo." Charlie, my father, the chief of Forks police department, leans in and puts his arms around me, giving me a hug. I felt tears in my eyes, no, not because of the hug, but because it felt so good to be told that someone is proud of me and it feels even better that it came from my dad, like I finally did something right. I give him a hug in return and bury my face in his shoulder, "Thanks dad." I whisper. A moment passes and he lets go, and I turn away wiping my tear away. No matter what, some things wilts' be awkward. I muster out a little laugh and say, "Let's go before Billy comes to pick you up personally."

**xxx**

The sun was setting just as we arrived at First Beach. Sunsets on LaPush always feel so surreal no matter if it's the first time I've seen them or not. It didn't take long for someone to spot us as we made our way down the sand; that someone being Billy of course.

"Charlie!" The Chief waves at my Dad. I spot Jake making his way to his dad quickly and push him to us.

"How'ya been old man?" Charlie fist bumps him.

"Good good," Billy looks over at me and his eyes grow a little, "You look good, Bella." I smile at the old man in thanks. Jake couldn't make it any less noticeable that he was checking me out and although I'm embracing this new me, it's still extremely uncomfortable.

"Hey Jake! Why don't you and Bella hang out a little, I'll take care of the old man." Charlie mocks, entirely ignoring the air awkwardness.

"Who are you calling old, grandpa?" Billy chits back at him with a playful glare. They both laugh as Dad takes the handles of his wheel chair and rolls him to where the beer is at most likely. I watch them disappear till I hear my friend clear his throat next to me.

"So…" Jake starts, shifting on his feet. I put my hands in the pockets on my jeans leaving my thumbs out.

"Are you gonna start something again?" I question, keeping my voice cool as I look up at him.

He looks surprised at me but slowly shakes his head and I continue, "Because if you are, I'll find myself better company to talk to."

"No, Bella, I promise…" He sighs in defeat, "I'm sorry about last time…I may have gone to far."

"May have? Jake, you gave me a panic attack. I know you think that this is all just so easy because I left Edward," I look away from him and into the fire that they built, watching the flames rise slowly "but the truth is that it's not and it can't be fixed by a bandaid. I need time, you need to respect that."

I can feel his body moving closer to me, his heat radiates off of him like a furnace as his arms warp around me and his chin rests on my head, "Sorry, Bells." He whispers weakly. I nod my head and warp my arms around him, hugging him back, accepting his way of apologizing. I let go after about five-seconds. No matter what, I still need to be careful how I act around the boy; I can't ford to lead him anymore on then I have, "Let's go get some food…I'm starving." Smiling up at him, I turn around and make my way too the table full of food.

I grab a plate for myself and hand another one to Jake without looking. My hunger has been up there lately, with all the working out I've been doing. Hmmmm, mini sandwiches! Before I know it, my plate is filled up and I look over at Jake only to see his mountain of food and another plate being equally filled up. My plate paled in comparison.

"Yo, Swan!" I hear an all so familiar voice behind me. An arm is lazily thrown over my shoulders and I look up at the offender.

"Yo, Ateara." I smirk up at the wolf. Quil wiggles his eyebrows at me suggestively before stealing a carrot from my plate and letting go of me.

"You look amazing!" He flirts looking me over. Eww? No, please stop, I think.

"Thanks, but you better look somewhere else before I tell my dad about you looking at me like that." I joke at him, eating some of my food.

"Leave her alone you asshole." Ahh, good ol' Embry coming to my rescue. Jake walks over to him with his many plates and Em takes one from him. Jake pouts at him, "Who's the asshole now? Get your own food!"

Embry shrugs at him, "You're literally gonna get more later at Emily's, chill out bro. Hey, Bella." He greets me with a nod. I wave at him as I eat, "Sup." I manage out through bites and look away toward the crowd gathering around the bonfire. I didn't see the questionable stares I was getting.

"What's that on your hands?" Quil asks curiously.

"Oh? I've been going to the gym a lot lately. They bruised." I don't elaborate, they don't need to know what I've been doing at the gym yet.

He laughs, jokingly asking, "That looks like more then just going to the gym..what have you been doing? Boxing or something?" I simply shrug my shoulders, still searching for I don't know what in the crowd, "I do a lot of mixed cardio…" I lie, "… actually it's really therapeutic."

They seem to accept my answer, pfew!

"Well, that's really unexpected. You're usually so clumsy, how's the building still standing." Emery jokes and I push him in the shoulder. I watch as he moves back a little almost like my push did something but I ignore it, it's most likely my imagination. He rubs his arm and mock pouts at me, "Have you always been so violent?"

"Well, get used to it," I say calmly, " I just want to not blow over like a leaf every time a breeze passes by."

Jake lets out another sigh and smiles at me, "As long as you're happy. Hey maybe we could even go together once in a while at the one we have here." He suggested

I send him as smiles my own, he's trying and right now its good enough. The other guys start to laugh at the thought and so do I, "That's okay Jake, but I've only been going for a little while and I don't think I could keep up with you." I throw my now empty plate away and finish "Besides, I like to do it on my own."

We talk a little more and after a while I part from them, looking for my dad. I need to make sure he's not too drunk yet. I find him a bit away from the fire sitting next to Billy with Sue cuddled up next to him. Emily, Sam, Old Quil, Tiffany Call, and a couple of other Elders, I assumed, sat together too. They were laughing and having a great time I guessed.

"Bella, come and sit with us!" my dad shouted from the small distance. I grimaced, he's tipsy, but not too bad, but he does tend to get a bit…loud. I do as he asks and sit in the small space between my dad and Billy, it was a tight uncomfortable fit on the log. I smile awkwardly to everyone and they nod back. Emily smiles at me from her probably super warm space cuddled up to Sam.

"So Bella! Tell us how you are, your dad mentioned you go to the gym now?" Embry's mom asks, entirely not curious at all…please note the sarcasm. Why is everyone so obsessed with me going to the gym now that I've told about it?

"Uhhh, yup! I go…sometimes after work,It's uh, nice. I'm sure dad told you about it already though." I ramble, looking out of the corner of my eye taking in some of the expressions. I'd be lying if I didn't want to know how some of these people would react to clumsy little Bella , going to the gym.

"Oh! Well it's always good to stay in shape." Ms. Call admires as she leans over to grab her beer and hands it to Billy, "Something you should try, Chief." Yeah, she was definitely Embry's mother, I can't help but think.

"Yeah! My Bella's gonna kick ass!" My dad exclaims, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and I slam into his side. _Ow, _I wince, never mind, he's drunk. I look at him out of the corner of my eyes, hoping he wouldn't tell to much about it, no one seems to pay his comment too much attention, thank god.

Billy glares at Tiffany, "That's a little hard to do, considering." He mentions toward his legs. The woman rolls her eyes, "You know damn well that they have things for your damn legs."

Billy ignores her and opens his beer. Turning to me he asks, "So how do you like it Bella?"

"Good good, it's a lot of fun and the people are nice enough." Nice enough for a bunch of big men that could knock me the fuck out with one wave of their hand. I smile through my thoughts and glance out of the corner of my eyes to see Sam giving me a strange look. You know, sometime it feels thats all he does…give people strange looks. I mean then again, I did some fucked up shit when I think about it and I was about to marry Edward a couple months ago, so maybe that strange look was deserved, _or maybe he should learn to mind his own business?_ A thought whispered through…I blink and rub my eyes. Let's not go there, I think, pushing that back where it came from.

"Paul, come sit with us!" I hear Emily cheer from her spot, patting the open space next to her. Paul was here? When did he get here? I look at him from my spot, squished between my dad and Billy. I notice him standing a couple feet away from Sue. Sam says nothing, but jerks his head to the side, I guess telling him to sit there.

God, please don't!

Paul glances to the side I was sitting at and shakes his head, "I'm good thanks." He waves at Sam and nods his head at the elders in respect before running off down the beach and probably into the forest.

…I knew in that moment that something didn't feel right. Not because of some impending danger but because I felt angry, angry at the fact that he left after taking one glance at me. Was I hurt? A little, but I'm angry again. So damn angry that I stand up in rage. Everyone sends me odd looks and I force a smile.

"Sorry, but I've got some things I gotta take care of. Sue, is Charlie going to stay with you tonight?" I ask, my muscles tense. Sam looks at me in confusion, I guess he noticed. The others haven't, thank god, but I need to leave before I hunt the other wolf down and push him for the second time.

"That's probably for the best, he's had a couple." Sue answers as Charlie is already falling asleep on her shoulder, "Okay, I'll pick him up tomorrow…I'm staying at a friends tonight, so give me a call if you need me." I tell her. Wing goodbye to everyone and giving my dad a hug, I feel my anger lessening, but only a little.

As I leave I can still feel eyes on me. I ignore it and go to my car; hopefully Danny was up for a late night workout.


	7. Unfocused

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

**Unfocused**

Jab, Jab, Cross, Cross. I huff through clenched teeth. "Stop!" I hear from behind me. "What now?" I breath out of breath to meet Eddies unsatisfied expression.

"Your anger is making you sloppy," He states matter of factly, " and you're tense in all the wrong areas. If this was a real fight, you'd be on the ground because your mind isn't clear."

My arms drop to my sides as I feel Danny's eyes looking over at me, probably with concern like they have been since I picked him up.

Eddie shakes his head and points to the jump rope, "Do thirty jump ropes, jumping-jacks and push-ups, see if that calms you down."

"Fine." I snap slightly. Calm down, Swan, it's not anyones fault that the mere thought of some _stupid ass werewolf of a slut _is making us unbelievably angry. God, what is wrong with me. I do my sets and by the time I'm done, I breath out a little. It calmed me down a little.

"Are you okay?" Danny asks coming over to me, concern in his voice. I nod my head, "Yeah, someone just pissed me off." He tilts his head at me, "Is this the same guy that pissed you off last time?" I nod.

He follows behind me as I walk to one of the speed bags. I reward my hands real quick before I start going at it, "What he do this time?"

"Apparently he thinks he's too good to be around me," I say between breaths, "I don't know why it makes me so angry, I mean…he's never liked me in the first place and it didn't bother me then."

"Maybe _you _like _him?" _I stop my rolls and stop the bag with a gloved fist, turning to look at the teenager infant of me.

"You're joking, right?" He shrugs his shoulders so I lean in, "The only time I would ever _like_ that stupid guy is if pigs flew, hell froze over and my mom actually paid a bill on time." Okay I may be exaggerating on that, but how dare he make such a lunatic assumption. Me? Like Paul Lahote? Ha! That was laughable.

_"__Then why do you care so much?" _Came both y thoughts and Danny. I pause for a moment. The truth was that I didn't know but something in the back of my mind says that I do but that I can't quite grasp what it is.

"You know what, why don't you and I go for a run?" I ask the boy, not letting him answer as I grab him by the arm gently heading toward the changing rooms, pushing him toward the mens, "I'll meet you in five minutes."

**xxx**

I lean agains the wall out front by the gym, waiting on my friend, changed into proper running attire. It was 11pm right now and it's cold, and a cold is the last thing I need to catch right now.

"Alright, I'm here." I hear from besides me, I push off the wall and smile at him.

"Great lets go…say, down to the gas station?"

"Thats fine." And off we go.

It takes maybe…15 minutes to make it to the gas station. As tall as Danny was though, he wasn't a fast runner compared to me. By the time we get there, we're both breathing out the cold air around us.

"Damn…had I known you meant actual running, I would have said no! I didn't know you where that fast!" He wheezes, holding his chest. I smile at him, already calmed down, "Sorry, I used to actually run track in middle and part of high school…I was never as good as the rest though so I don't talk about it."

"Well, you're not bad." He winks at me, his cheeks read from the air.

"Should we make our way back then? Sorry, I didn't think about how cold it is and I don't think your parents will appreciate me getting you sick." I pat him on the shoulder in apology. Thats the last ting I need to do now, get people sick. We start making out way back.

He shakes his head, looking away his eyes looking a little sad, "It's okay, even if I did get sick, I doubt they care much anyway."

I shoot him a puzzled look, "Oh?"

"My mom is always working, while my dad is off doing…who knows what he's doing. I don't care…They don't even know I have a job or that I've been boxing, unless I make too much noise in the house!" He laughs about the last part, but all I can do is look at him. A lot of things about him now made sense too me; the comedian thats depressed on the inside. This was as much his outlet as it was mine and although I found this boy in front of me annoying since I've met him, my heart clenched at his misfortune.

It made me look back at my own situation really…I've never thought about other people and how they live, have I? Maybe I should just forget this whole Paul thing, it's really not that bad, but it just makes me react to it so bad, it's like I'm allergic to him and I can't help but react in anger.

I look at the boy and made a decision. I wrap my arms around him, in a friendly gesture and let go, "I can't do much about you're situation at home, but if you need a friend, ever wanna hang out, whatever, you're more then welcome to call me up."

Danny's eyes widen in amazement for a second, before a cocky smile grows on is face, "Is this your way of confessing your love to me Bella? Geeze, I don't know…you're a little old for me, I mean I don't mind but people will talk, ya know?" He jokes looking down at me. I glare up at him and push him in the side not too hard. He goes to hold his side, letting out a wince though his laughing. "Shut up, I was trying to be nice!" The laughter continues and I let out a huff of annoyance, "And what the hell do you mean by old, huh?! I'm literally a year and a half older, thats it, you asshat!" I shout at him.

"Sorry, sorry!" He didn't sound sorry! Urge, that's the last time I try doing nice things, "Last time give you a hug to make it all better!" He goes to lean in and I duck under his arm.

"Nope too late! I don't want to hug some immature little brat!" I joke back at him, who swings back around and starts chasing me. I haven't had this much fun in a while. Danny tries to chase me, but I make a run for one of the alleyway and try to hide behind one of the boxes someone threw out.

"Really Bella? I didn't know you where into creepy ally?" I heard his voice. I put my hand over my mouth, trying to be quiet, but a giggle escaped and he lifts the box off of me, looking unimpressed. I smile innocently up a this as he's the one string at me with blank eyes. We are at each other for a minute what it felt, before we're bursting out laughing. He flops down onto the boxes with me.

"See, I know how to have fun?" I defend myself, crossing my arms. He rolls his eyes at me, "Oh yeah ya do!"

"Anyway, let's seriously head back befo-," but I was interrupted by a loud bang. Both our head snap over to where the sound came from. Before I knew it, Danny hoisted me up on my feet and dragged me over too a corner where a dumpster was at, luckily there was a little space behind it.

We squeezed behind just as another gunshot went off, this time much closer.

**XXX**

**A/N: So I've been trying to figure out how to format everything****for this story, so A/N's should be here at the end from now on! Well, anyway...what did you guys think of this chapter? A lot of you surely****have your suspicions****about Bellas anger issues and some of you have voiced your thoughts about it, so hey, let me know what your theories are about it? Also, I am curous to know who you guys imagine Danny as, because****I haven't****given too much away about him, even though it mentions a little about him in this chapter. Hit that review button and let me know! The next chapter is already written, but I want to wait a couple days before I post it. **


	8. A Scratch On The Glass

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

**A Scratch On The Glass**

We tried our best to control our breathing, it was uncomfortable being stuck like this. I tried to move a little, but froze the minute I heard footsteps. Fuck! I look up at Daniel, his eyes are like a deer caught in headlights and I felt his hands tremble on my arm, double fuck! I need to think fast, if we get discovered then…I don't know but I don't want news going to Charlie about his daughter being shot behind a dumpster. Breath. Breath, we've faced vampires before, we can do this!

I spin us so that Danny is up against the wall and I'm pressed against him, it's fucking awkward. I lean up and press my palm agains his mouth gently, "Breath, you need to breath, slowly okay?" I whisper to him. He nods his head carefully up and down and closes his eyes. I keep my ears on alert,

"Did you see someone come in here?" I hear a gruff voice snapping at someone.

"I thought it was that fucking kid!" Another guy defends. I feel Danny's muscles tense up.

"You thought? Fucking hell, Avan, we need to find that damn son of a bitch! You know how much money we would get? I thought he went to that gym that damn old man owned." Guy one growls in annoyance.

Why are they looking for a kid? Another gunshot went off in the ally this time and I jump a little, while Danny squeezes his eyes tighter.

"Goddamn it!" The guy…maybe Avan? Shouts, "Watch where the fuck you shoot at! You want these cops on our asses again?"

"Whatever, lets just go, the boss is gonna be on our ass if we don't show up with that kid anyway." I hear footsteps leaving the alleyway, and I wait a minute for safety measure. I let go of the boy in front of me and stumble out from behind the dumpster, the smell finally hits me. Oh jesus, disgusting.

I notice Danny still breathing oddly and my eyes grow wide, "Come on, sit down for a second, they're gone." He slides down the wall and starts to slow his breathing, "Yeah! Remember the breathing method at training!" I try to guide him. Jesus, I'm used to me having a panic attack, but not others. I step back, giving him the room and space.

After a couple of minutes, he calms down, "Sorry." He lets out a strangled breath.

"It's okay, I get them sometimes too." I treasure him and he looks up at me, his eyes are red…was he crying? His reaction would make sense for the most part but something in the back of my head told me that it was a bit…odd?

"Hey…" I start off, and kneel down next to him, not knowing how to start, "ummm, those guys? Do you know them or…something?" His reaction to when he pulled me behind the dumpster, it was like he knew them, and when they mentioned the kid, he tensed, and it's suspicious but maybe I'm over thinking too, because I mean he's a seventeen year old kid and of course he's scared out of his mind!

"Yeah I know them." He murmurs, holding his knees to his chest. What? I told my head to him, hoping he would elaborate, "My dad knows them better then I do…they're…part of some big gambling thing here." He lets out a bitter chuckle and lets his head fall to the back of the wall, " Remember how I just told you how my dad is off doing who knows what? Well, he's gambling away everything, borrowing money from all the wrong people. My mom…she works nonstop trying her best to pay off the debts, but a while ago they came into our house, they beat her up pretty badly. I just came home from school when I saw them leave…she couldn't go to work and got fired so I got the job at the library trying to help out but thats not even enough to cover rent for that tiny ass match box we live in." He runs his hand through his hair letting out a sigh of frustration and I look at the floor for second, letting it sink in. I glance up at him,

"Is that also why you took up boxing…to protect your mom?" He nods his head,

"And so I could protect myself when the time came. I guess I was right, since they're looking for me now too…god!" He pushes the floor in anger, "I swear if I could, I'd find my dad and just throw him to them so they would leave us alone! That son of a bitch!"

That night, I learned a lot about Daniel; he was just another kid stuck in an unjust system trying to survive. It's unbelievable to think about it, it made me think of the young Quileute boys of LaPush, who all just want better lives for themselves, for their families but can't because there is always someone trying to get in the way, be it rich people, political powers, underground organizations, they take for grant the world they live in and try to make it their own. Entitled bastards! That night however, I also realized how good I've had it and that most of the things that happened that aren't so good, are in a way of my own making.

**xxx**

It was 3:00 am by the time I got home. I parked my car and slumped back on my seat. Groaning, I cover my face with my forearm. It's been a long night, after we finally got back to Eddie's, said man glared at us for not letting him know we left. He made us spare against each other for a whole two hours straight, against two of the other, much, much more experienced guys that do some of the more professional boxing. My whole body is in pain, but I actually got in a couple hits, I was really proud of that. Danny seemed like he was full focus after we got back, he was giving it with everything he had.

I let out another groan, before I finally get my stuff out and head to the house.

"I thought you where going to have a sleep over?" A rough voice came from the shadows. I drop my bag to the ground, fist my hands and pull them toward me, lifting my leg into a high kick in a perfect swift motion, "What the!" The voice startles as my foot hits them in the head and I send my right hook into their face, which is unfortunately caught before it ever lands.

"What the hell are you doing?" The person asks and I blink staring into the eyes that belong to none other then the guy I've been angry about since Sue's.

"What?" I stare dumbly, blinking then turning to look at my fist, perfectly caught in his hand. I glare it, then at him, pulling my hand back with force. Thankfully he lets go.

""What the hell am I doing?" Regaining my posture, I stand up straight pointing an index finger to the door, hand on my hips, " One! I live here! and two, what the hell does it matter to you, huh? Are you the police? Are you my Dad?"

He rolls his eyes, "No, thank god for that, who would want to deal with a Leech lover like you anyway? And I'm on patrol, since Jacob and Sam were SO fucking concerned about your dumb ass, they asked to make sure to let them know when you come home, ya know, since you've been so distant and shit." His eyes look fierce as always and I feel my anger matching his uncontrollable temper.

"Well, I'm good as you can see. You can leave now, thanks." I snap back sarcastically. I turn to pick my tuff up when I suddenly feel myself being spun around and slammed up against the wall next to the door. Seriously? Why is it always me! I whine in my head.

Is he…_sniffing me_? I think in absolute mortification, but then he pulls back and stares down at me, _wow his eyes are like whiskey…_Bella Swan, you better get your head straight. I wince when I feel his grip on my arms tightening.

"So, the little leech lover went to hang out with some guy? Oh!" He sniffs again and a nasty smirk grows on his face, "More then one? Wow, who knew you're such a slut? First Cullen, the the _pack!" _He sneers at me, I can feel my fear growing on my face as he looks at me, "And what? Now you thought you'd make rounds with some humans? Huh, figures." Okay, that's too far! I try to push him away from me, but even with all the strength I've gained, he doesn't budge much. Instead he grabs my wrist's and slams them them next to my head.

I don't have time to progress his lips crashing down on mine; my brain freezes. _Is…is he kissing me? _I feel my body moving on it's own, leaning in to him, pressing my mouth back to his while he's still holding my wrists by my head, when I feel something wet moving across my lower lip, I manage to gain some control. My knee moves up fast and _hard._ Paul falls back and and groans in pain, holding his groin area.

I hiss through my breaths, trying to go over what just happened as I look down at him with cold eyes, _"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" _His eyes narrow as he's still holding his groin in pain, and I watch as his eyes grow wide, almost as if he just now realized what he did.

"I didn-," I cut him off in rage, "You didn't what? _Think?_ You thought that you could just come to my house, accuse me, _insult me, MOLEST ME? _Because what? I'm the leech lover? I have guy friends? Do you have a death wish?" I'm yelling a t this point, it's a good thing that the neighbors are a bit down the road. Looking at him, he actually looks afraid of me with eyes wide full of…i don't know what, but looking at them, they're more of a warm brown now…_Oh for fucks sake Swan, the dude just forceful kissed you after insulting you, don't fall for shit like that! _

His silence only edges me on, I squat down next to him and look him in the eye and calmly say, "I don't know what the fuck is going on here, whatever it is between us, and honestly I don't _care_ anymore." He flinches at my words and I somehow can't stop the words from coming out of my mouth, "But if you _ever_ do that again…let's just hope that you're bullet proof, Lahote, because if you aren't, you're gonna have a really _really _bad day." I stand back up and pick my bag up, opening the door.

I look back at him as he finally stands up and just stares at me, "I'm not as fragile as you all think I am." I slam the door shut and lock it like that's supposed to keep these supernatural bastards out.

**XXX**

**A/N: Soooo, that may or may not have been expected? Bella is starting to be more of a bad ass, and I promise you, it's not for random reasons! As I've said before, I have this story planned out and I'm trying to make it make sense the best I can without having to give the entire story away. So last time I asked you what you think is going on with Bella and it's interesting to read your theories! I won't be confirming or denying****any because****I don't want to give hope or disappoint****anyone. Now, here we also learn about Danny a bit more, what do you think of him and his story? **

**Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I want to thank all my readers who reviewed, followed, and favorited me, they give me hope that people actually are interested in it! Let me know what you think and I'll be off working on my graduate school application (It is a literal****bitch). I really also hope the grammar and spelling is ok with this one because I was in the zone when I wrote it and I went over it once, so I probably didn't****catch it all, sorry! **


	9. Petrichor

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

**Petrichor**

It was in the middle of the week, it was raining, and somehow I thought, _this is perfect for running!_

I put the hood of my jacket over my head after I close the door behind me, put in my ear phones and start to slightly jog down the road that heads into town. Might as well pick up something from the grocery store while I'm at it.

It's about one week from Halloween today and as always, _everyone is decorating their houses already, _I notice looking around me. _Ironic, really…There are Vampires and Werewolves all year round. _I let out a little chuckle at that.

It really doesn't take me long to get to the store. I put my hood down and walk through the automatic doors, only grabbing a small basket.

Just a regular, totally normal day…

_And just who the hell are you trying to convince, huh? _I frown at the bell pepper in my hand. It's been about…a week and a half since the _Paul Incident _and I've had a lot of time to think about all that happened lately. It's not _normal._ And I say that like anything in my life is normal, but no, _this thing with Paul is unnatural. _I grab a couple of veggies, _Dad needs to eat better even if I have to shove this damn cauliflower down his throat._ Of course I have my suspicions on Paul; we've never had this many interactions even after I punched him, sooooo… it explains some things, but I'm not gonna do shit. Why? Because I hope I'm wrong. I've been doing great lately and I really don't want to deal with it right now, so call me a selfish bitch.

I turn into another isle. We are in need of spices. I bend and throw a couple of them in the basket. Maybe I'm overthinking, I mean the guy's got obvious issues! He hates me, that's not new and sucks for him, I guess. _Don't you feel bad for him! _I shake my head a little. Whatever it is that he's going through, that doesn't excuse his behavior, he crossed a line and he should be held accountable for it.

The most worrisome part about that incident, was the way I felt afterward. _I should have felt disgusted! _But I didn't and that part did disgust me. I let out a frustrated growl and throw some random can I had picked up into my basket and spun around only to see some lady look at me strangely. I send an awkward smile and hurry away. _Ok, no more thinking about it! Its over and whatever is going on is his problem. I'll just make sure I'm not left alone with him again._

"Bella?" I snap out of my thoughts and look up, answering "Yes?" Before I even had a chance to see who it was. A familiar sight greets me and I feel a smile forming on my face, "Angela!"

The girl lets out a laugh and lets go of her cart, reaching to give me a hug, "Oh my gosh, how are you?"

"Oh, I'm pretty good. And you?" I ask back, giving her a one sided hug back. We let go and step back.

"Eh, okay for the most part." She shrugs, her now shoulder long hair brushing her shirt.

"You cut your hair?" Yes, great observation Swan, I tell myself sarcastically.

"Yeah! I wanted a change after school… you know, look more like an adult." She touches the short curls, "Less work!"

I nod at her, "It suits you."

"Thank you! Ben didn't think so, he bitched about it for weeks." She groans out. Huh, I honestly didn't think that they would still be together.

"You guys are still together? I thought you wanted a break?" I'm curious, because last I spoke to her was before I was going to marry Edward and she said she didn't want to be with Ben anymore because he's stained some…bad habits. I frown a little.

A guilty look is on her face, "Uh, yeah! And I did but…he's been going to rehab and he's got a good job at some construction company in Port Angeles so we've been trying to make it work. I'm taking some online classes at UW, so we actually plan to move in together next year…hopefully."

I smile at her, "That sounds like you've got it mostly figured out then, so thats good. Just be careful."

Angela smiles, "Not gonna lie, it's been rough but nothing comes by easy and he's trying and been dry for a while so thats good." It sounds like she wants to convince herself but I'm not going to get involved of judge. I'm the least person to be saying anything.

"I hear you, trust me! I've been doing pretty well, figuring stuff out. Who thought that it be such a shit show after high school?" I laugh, trying to ease the situation.

"I think we knew it, but decided to ignore it." She chuckles and looks back at her cart and lettingout a sigh, "I guess I better get this home before the weather gets worse."

"AH, thats right! I hope it went down a little, it wasn't bad when I came." I thought outlaid thinking to myself.

**xxx**

Well, fuck.

I stare out the glass doors of the grocery store, holding at least four bags of groceries, which is nothing considering my workout routine, but…It's raining…like a bitch, I mean, cat and dogs, pouring and I'm literally slapping internally, because I'm a fucking _idiot! Go running in the rain, I said, It's not that bad, I said. God, why!_ I let out a sigh of frustration.

Ok. I can do this. I put down the bags and flip my hood on and pick them back up. Breath!

Jesus, christ, ok, the house isn't that far, I can do this! I start running.

"Bella, wait!" I hear from a small distance. I turn around and it's Angela in her car, sending me a concerned look, "Did you walk here? Get in the car!" And Hallelujah, an angel!

I take my now soaked jacket off in her car, which is blowing nice, warm air.

"Why did you walk to the store in this weather?" She lectured at me, handing me some tissues she had in the glove department, so I could at least dry a little bit.

"I like running and it wasn't that bad when I came." I defended, patting the tissue down my arm. I'll have to take a shower when I'm at home, " And my house isn't that far away."

I look over at her, she's staring at me like I've got two heads and blinks. She leans back in her seat and looks out to the road, "Bella…your house is at _least _five miles away."

"Oh…"

"When you say you've been running…do you mean like pro? Because that's what professionals do."

"Just…for fun." I answer her and she sighs, shaking her head.

"Well, damn girl. It looks like you're getting better then." A small smile is on her face now and I tilt my head. She turns back to me and says,

"I was worried you'd turn back into zombie Bella after you decided not to marry Edward and it was a terrifying thought. I'm really glad things turned out for the better…Hell, you even look so much healthier, maybe I should take up running."

"It's very relaxing." I tell her, "But…I've been going to therapy and that's been a main factor I guess, that and going to the gym, I guess."

"The gym?" I laugh at her reaction and nod, "Say goodbye to sad Bella and hello to healthy Bella!"

**xxx**

As nice as it was to see Angela, it was great taking a shower and relaxing in your most comfortable pair of sweats and hoodie with a warm mug of Koko, Hmmm, warmth and marshmallows. And later it's gonna be Tomato soup and gilled cheese sandwiches. I turned on some TV and sat down on the couch and just as my butt touched the cushion, the goddamn phone rang.

"Oh for god's sake!" I put the mug on the coffee table and hurry to the kitchen, "Hello, Swan residence?"

"Hello, Bella!" Ah, Billy.

"Hi Billy! Charlie's at work right now, I'll let him know you called?"

"Oh thats great! Could you let him know about the bonfire on Saturday? Make sure to let him know he needs to bring the necessary stuff, please?" He asks jokingly. I roll my eyes,

"Sure can." I answer back, ready to end the conversation.

"Oh, and of course you're welcome as well, Jake's been missing ya." Billy hints and I sigh.

"Don't worry, I'll be there! Can't let Sue deal with Dad alone like last time." I answer him and hesitated for a second…shit, Paul would be there as well and still, other then Jake, I'm not that great friends with any of the others, "Hey Billy, can I bring a friend?"

"Yeah, I won't mind. Well, I better get going now, nice talking to ya, kid."

"Cool thanks! You too." And I hang up the phone and go back to my comfy spot on the couch.

I scroll through my phone as I watch the show and the rain outside continues.

**_Ding!_**Message from Danny

_u coming up to Angeles this evening?_

_Nope, off and have u been outside? I'm curled up drinking coco._

_Urg, rub it in why don't you :P_

_Ur welcome to make ur own :)_

_-_- such a great friend_

_lol whatever_

_there's gonna be a bonfire where I live on Sat, u wanna come? I'd appreciate backup…_

_…its that dude again?_

_Uhhhh, maybe :/ and remember how u kinda just dragged me into boxing…time to pay up, bitch!_

_EXCUSE ME! But as I rmbr, u like boxing!_

_But ye I wanna go_

_What-ever! Haha, thx buddy_

_Yep, np bestie_

I toss my phone to the other end of the couch and turn my full attention to the tv. The rain hasn't lessened even a bit. An hour passes when I walk into the kitchen, ready to start dinner. Yep, it's just a normal day, I mean hell, imagine living by yourself. Everyday would be like this…maybe?

This is what I wanted after all, normal…I wash my mug and put it back in it's proper place. _God, what is wrong with me, is this what the supernatural does to you? Normal feels boring._

As if god heard my inner thoughts, a loud bang was heard from upstairs and I jump a little and turn to lean against the sink, looking up at the ceiling. _I swear to god, if it's a vampire or werewolf breaking into my window because they don't know how to use fucking doors, I'm setting them on fire._

Annoyed, I go up the stairs and check all the rooms, everything seems good, nothings a mess. I safe my room for last, for good reasons. I peak inside and seeing everything in order, I open the door wider, narrowing my eyes at everything, double checking. Maybe it was outside? I walk to my window and open the curtain and sure enough…

There was a note on my window… a sticky note. I frown at it, _that's not loud enough to make such noise…_ I open the window and grab it, poking my head out to see if something fell.

"Really?" I hiss in disbelieve, looking down at the tree branch that is…_was_ the bridge to the window by my room that so many people have abused, lying on the ground, seemingly haven to give up on life. _Rest in peace, my friend._

I groan out loud and look out into the woods, _whoever is out there, I hope you see this! _I lift my hand in a fist and raise my middle finger, flipping of the forest, or, well, whoever is in the forest.

I pull myself back inside and close the window, shutting the curtains. I go to my bed and fall on it backward, letting out some frustrated noise with both my arms over my face. Something is in my hand, _the note. _I open up the now crumbled up piece of paper;

_I made a mistake. I'm sorry._

**XXX**

**A/N: So? I know, this one may have seemed like a bit of a filler, especially after last chapters drama, but I was partially inspired by the weather today, hence the chapter title, and needed to introduce subtle parts in. I was going to wait till tomorrow to post, but I've got some more college homework to take care of AND the application for grad school to finish, which is five essay questions for the social work program...so I'm procrastinating and doing this instead...How did I ever get my bachelors degree in psychology? Jk, Ok seriously I hope I get in or Imma cry.**

**Btw, I am so glad you guys liked last chapter and Bella! I'm trying my best to keep her, her awkward self while showing that she's also growing more into a strong woman, but still keep her flaws. Thank you again for everyone that reviewed, those are always so nice to read! And thank you those that followed and favorited, I'm glad you like my story! And again, I do apologize about any grammar or spelling issues, I tend to ignore grammar with this story, because it's a constant inner monologue type of thing, all from Bella's pov.**

**Please leave a review and let me know what you think of this chapter, it's a little more melancholy, at least I was going for that.**


	10. Whirlwinds In Their Making

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

**Whirlwinds In Their Making**

"Okay, so just to make sure, do you want me to kick his ass for you?" I told Danny the entire Paul thing that happened.

"No need. No offense, but I think you'd end up in the Hospital." I turn my blinker on at the stop sign, "And really these guys are a little bit stronger so just don't start a fight alright?"

Danny crosses his arms over his white shirt, "Well, can I at least flirt with the girls?" I let out a snort and I can feel his glare on me.

"Sure." I chuckle.

"And you're sure we're allowed there?" He sounds nervous. I raise an eyebrow and glance at him from the corner of my eye.

"Uh, yeah? I mean, I asked Billy and double checked."

"I just want to make sure because it's a reservation and I don't need to offend anymore people then my family already has." He grumbles out.

I purse my lips into a straight line, "Ok, one, my family has been friends with the chiefs family for generations, I'm almost sure that I'm sort of… related to one of the families through my great aunt Molly. Not that it means anything, but it's a deep friendship and two, if you offend them, I'll personally kick your ass, okay? I'll do it for them, so that its over quick and no one will come after you for it."

"Wow okay, I see how it is." He says with fake wonder, "But damn, you're friends with the chief?"

I send him a quick smile, "It's what friends are for and yes."

The car fell silent for a little while, before I remembered something.

"Hey,I know it's not my business but is there a reason you haven't been to training very much lately?"

"Oh?" He hesitates, "I've just been busy, ya know, school." He says lamely. I send him a look of disbelieve and he looks out the window.

"…Is it those guys?" I* blurt out in concern. I can't help it that I worry for others.

"I don't really want to talk about it." He says blankly.

"Got it." If he doesn't want to talk, then it's not my business to pry. The mood's gone down a little and we still have about 15 minutes to go till we get to LaPush. After what felt like maybe a minute, I roll down the window, it's getting stuffy in here. The air is a little crisp but nice, I hum in appreciation.

"I've been looking for my dad." Ah, there it is. One thing I've learned from going to therapy, is that, eventually, the egg cracks, if you give it enough time.

"Ah? Any luck?" I ask curiously.

"Not really, I mean, I've followed those guys to some sketchy ass part of Angeles, figures." He pauses for a second, like he's thinking, "I don't think he got involved in just some gambling shit, I think it's some underground operation."

I blink at this new obtained information, _Underground Operation?_ "Whoa…" I let out. And then I lean over to him and back him across the head.

"_OOwww!_ What the hell was that for?" He whines and I frown looking at the road.

"Oh? Maybe for being an absolute, idiot? Why the _hell_ would you follow the same guys that wanted to shoot your ass?"

"Because I want to know exactly what that bastard got us into!" He defends, angry.

"Daniel, I get it, but you're not even 18 yet. What if something happens to you? Then who's gonna be there for your mom?" I try to rationalize, "Just don't do dumb shit like that by yourself. Jesus."

"It's not going to get better if I do nothing, Bella. What if they get to her first? I just want to find him and…" He didn't finish, but I knew exactly what he wanted to say; _give him the them on a platter._ I didn't agree with it one bit.

"What about the police?"

"They aren't gonna do shit. My family is in poverty, you think they're gonna help _us? _They didn't even help when my dad beat the shit out of my mom and I called, let him walk the next day."

We finally reach the parking for the beach and I park. I lean back in my seat and look out, letting out a sigh and close my eyes, "Danny?"

"What?" He asks dejected.

I turn to him and look him in the eyes, "If you get hurt, I'm gonna beat your ass and get all the guys at Eddies to help? Do you understand?"

It takes a while, but he finally nods his head and I undo my seatbelt, "Good. Now, enough of this, lets go and have some fun!"

**xxx**

It doesn't take long for the conversation in the car to fade away and the next thing, we're both having a blast, dancing to the music. It was strange, though, because none of the wolves were there yet. I spin to the song and catch a familiar looking sight of my dad. I tap Danny on the shoulder, "Come with me for a second." And practically drag him over out of the crowd.

"Hey dad!" I wave, "Meet Danny, my gym buddy." Charlie gives me a quick hug and turns to scan my friend.

"Ah, right, Bella's been telling me about her…gym stuff." He glances at me and winks. I wanted to slap my hand to my head, god, did you have to make it sound so…weird? I notice the beer can in his hand and shake my head.

"You know the doctor told you to cut down on that!" I lecture, a hand on my hip, pointing at the can.

Charlie looks at the beer and back over at me with a guilty look, "I haven't had one since…last night, it'll be okay Bella." I frown at him and drop my hands in defeat.

"Fine! I'll go find Sue and let her know, okay! You won't be saying that when you're in the hospital and have me worry."

Charlie turns back to Danny, trying to change the subject, "So, kid, my daughter tells me she kicks your ass? On more then one occasion now. Thats gotta suck." Ih god, I can feel my face getting red.

"Yes sir, no offense, but your daughters strong as hell when she wants to be. Packs a punch and a half." Daniel jokes and mocks pushes the air. I let out a sigh of relieve, he's good with these type of situations.

"Good. I wouldn't want to have to come after you if she came home with a black eye or somethin'" Charlie jokes/warns, I have no idea. The younger boy just smiles and nods at him, "No worries, she can hold her own."

Dad lets out a belly laugh, placing a hand on the boys shouldering a friendly gesture, "I guess I should be worried for you then, huh, son?" He pats him on the shoulder and I tune out the rest of the conversation, looking around and catch the eye of Jake, who's looking over at me then at my dad and Danny, then back at me. I bite my lip, I didn't consider how this _might _look to others; like I'm introducing a boyfriend. I shudder on the inside. Nothing against Daniel, but he's not my type, like he's cute, got some good muscles and a bit nerdy, but he reminds me of…a Seth and Quil combination. No, thank you, I'll pass!

"He seems like a nice kid." I hear dad saying from behind. I turn around and smile at him, "Yeah? He's pretty nice, doesn't have a lot of friends though." I look around in confusion, "You didn't do anything to him, did you?"

"Nah, a girl came and asked him to dance, so he excused himself. So I'm to assume he's just a friend right?" He raises a suspicious eyebrow at me and I roll my eyes at him,

"Yes, dad. He's also younger then me and no thank you!" I shudder for real this time, dad shakes his head at me.

"Alright alright, no need for the dramatics." I glare at him, "Looks like Jake wants to talk to you, so I'm gonna head over to Billy. Are you gonna be late getting back? Since you'll drive the kid home, right?" I nod at him and we exchange a couple more words before I give him a hug.

I walk away from the crowd and toward Jake, who's in a corner, "Are you here alone tonight?" I wink at him, bumping his shoulder. He lets out a little chuckle, but his whole mood seems off.

"Sort of, but you aren't." His gaze falls on Danny, who's dancing with some pretty little red head, "Although he's not really loyal, you have terrible taste in men, Bella."

I raise an eyebrow at him and roll my eyes, "Jake, he's my friend, he's not my type and he's having a tough time, so I brought him out." Letting out the part in which he's also my backup."

"Oh."

"That's not the only reason why you're like this, is it?" He doesn't answer me and stays pouting toward the people dancing. I groan in frustration and grab his wrist, "Come on!" Heading toward the crowd, "We're gonna dance! You and I, normal ass teenagers, doing shit teenagers do." I didn't have to say much after that, he followed me wordless and let me drag him, I guess, but we join the rest of the crowd and participate in whatever this gamble of movements was the beat.

It takes Jake maybe a minute to get into it, and he's spinning me around and we both end up laughing as I accidentally bump into someone. All in all, we're having a great time. What surprises me the most is that Jacob Black can actually dance, like he's pretty good at this. I'd love to dance more but for fear of him getting the wrong message, I hold back a little and let him kind of lead me and lean away when things get too…personal.

Its maybe an hour later when I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn to see Danny smiling brightly, "Hey, in case you're looking for me, I'm gonna go grab some food and rest a little."

I smile at him, "Okay! Are you having a good time?"

He nods a yes, there's a sparkle in his eyes, "Yeah! Thanks for dragging me here!" He looks over my shoulder to Jake, "Hey man! I'm Daniel!" He stretches his hand out and Jake watches him carefully, before putting out his own and nodding at him as they shake. "I'm Jake, Bella's friend."

"Cool, so am I!" Daniel points to himself, and turns to me, "Guess we've got something in common." He shrugs, full of sarcasm, and I push him in the shoulder.

"Okay, go eat before you piss my friends off." I tell him, not holding back the giggle as he gives Jake a final nod and walks off. I glance at Jake and smile, "That's probably why he doesn't have a lot of friends."

"Yeah." Uh-oh, the mood turned sour again and I huff in frustration.

"Okay, Jake, I love you, but if small things like that keep bringing you into a bad mood, then I'm going to go find better company."

He runs a hand through his hair and banks it out, looking around, "Follow me." Is all he says. He goes to move out of the crowd, I stay put.

"Where are we going?" I ask unsure of this situation. He stands there and looks at me like he'll never see me again.

"I need to tell you something…It's important, Bells, please."

**xxx**

Jake and I walk down the beach, away from ear shot.

"Okay." He says, looking at the sand,kicking it, before looking up at me.

"Have you been feeling strange?" What is he talking about?

"What do you mean?" I tilt my head in question, it seems to frustrate him more.

"Have you been feeling…anything toward anyone in particular lately?" Ah, now I know. I bite the inside of my lip and avoid his gaze.

"That," I whisper, " Yes." I feel his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look up at him, into his eyes filled with a look of sorrow.

"Do you know who?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"I know." Jake drops his hands from my shoulders and I take a step back.

"You know? Did he tell you?" He growls in anger, I shake my head.

"I figured it out myself. It made so much sense after i thought about it." I admit in defeat, not saying the word because doing so will make it more real.

"You've always been smart." I meet his eyes again and he looks away from me, I could have sworn I saw tears. Breath, Bella, don't you fucking cry!

"If it's any consolation…it's not like he likes me, I'm pretty sure he hates me, in fact, I don't like him either." I confront him, but somehow I knew my words where useless.

"It's not that, it's…just that, even after Cullen, I finally thought that maybe, if you'd have enough time to heal, you would look at me, and now? Knowing that _he's_ your…_whatever!_ It frustrates me, it makes me want to beat him to death. Knowing that…that," He's ranting in anger, stuttering at the end and I couldn't help but lay a hand on his shoulder and say.

"Jake, it's going to be okay. We just weren't meant to be, and…this fantasy of yours has to end, do you understand?" I say gently, putting my other hand on the side of his face. His body begins to quiver and I drop my hands and take a couple of steps back, "I'm sorry, but you had to hear it." My brain is melting, and not in a good way as I watch my childhood friend nearly fall apart as I shatter the last of his fantasy. I tried to be gentle, now and in the past, and at this point, I feel like I don't know what's going to help him realize.

I watch him sprint into the woods and a part of me felt like such a horrible person, but instead I let out a sigh of relief and turn toward the ocean.

All I wanted was normal. I think as the moon shimmers on the water, the night was really beautiful.

I breath in the fresh air, it was still crisp. Winter wouldn't be far off now and tomorrow is Halloween. I just stood there for who knows how long. Even when I felt a familiar presence behind me, I didn't move to turn or greet them; why should I?

Finally, they stood next to me and I could feel nervousness radiating off of them, but I wont be the first to crack. It didn't take long.

"You got my note?" He questioned quietly and I try my best to keep the frown off my face.

"Yeah, your handwriting sucks." Is all I say. He shifts next to me, _good, he's uncomfortable._

_"_Sorry." He mumbles.

I let out a snort, there was nothing nice about this, "You're sorry? You really think a note and a 'sorry' is going to make this all better?" I ask in all seriousness as I turn to him, my hands in my pocket, "And you broke my tree!" I saw him grimace, _good._

"Look I'm not good at this, okay! " Paul defends, his anger rising again.

"Well, that's not good enough for me."

He looks taken aback in that moment and it honestly confuses me because…did he not realize this situation? So I can't help but go one, " I don't know what your issue is here, why you're so angry at me, like I've personally offended you, and I'm not going to find out because you have nothing to do with me." His lips are pursed and for my own safety, I take a small step back, which he notices as he glances down at my feet.

"Whatever you're issue is, I hope you find an answer, because I'm not a punishing bag for you to let your anger out on and I refuse to be. Yes, I dated a vampire and yes, you guys are mortal enemies, but to hate me just on that, it's not fair when you don't even know me." He's looking straight at me, his eyes actually do look like they are full of regret and _I can't let that fool me, I need to leave._

I turn my head away and let out a sigh as silence falls between us, "Whatever." I step further away from him and turn around to leave when I feel his hand on my wrist, _not again, _I think to my self, ready to turn around and give him apiece of my mind.

"I'm sorry." He muttered and I glare at him,

"I just told you that it's not enough, didn't I?"

Paul's shoulder drop in defeat, "I know, and I don't exactly know how I can make it up to you." He lifts his head and stares into my eyes, it's intense and uncomfortable, " I fucked up so bad and I don't want you to be…a punishing bag…to anyone. The rage that went through me that night was because of the wolf, because I…" He stops himself and I furrow my eyebrows and blurt out,

"Don't say it."

"What?" I see shock pass his face, before realization, "You know. Did Jake say something to you?" The anger is back and he drops my wrist, thankfully.

"I figured it out by myself…the hints are all there when you look at it." I explain to him, keeping my voice monotone.

"…and?"

I look at him with an unsure face, how do I say this without pissing him off? " And what? Its like you said, you fucked up, _bad. _I'm not jumping of joy, running in your arms to take me on the nearest surface."

I watch him for a moment, it's true, what he did was fucked up and all I want is him to be held accountable for it. It's not like I don't understand that it was also partially his wolf's doing, but Paul in general needs to learn to control both himself and the wolf, otherwise.

"Same." He sneers through gritted teeth.

"That's what I mean," pointing to his hands, "You can barely control your anger. Why would I be happy about that?"

Paul is silent as he bounces back and forth on his heels, _he's nervous, _I note to myself. Gazing out to the water, its like he's trying to decide something, "I'm not a bad guy."

"Yeah?" I ask him, not really believing him. He sighs again and relaxes his whole body, kneeling into the sand, while running a hand through his shinny black hair. This whole situation may be so uncomfortable, but I took a minute to appreciate his topless form. _You bette look somewhere else! _I tell myself, pulling my eyes at a nearby driftwood.

"I'm really not. I mean, yeah, I was a jackass even before I turned into a wolf but…I've never done something like that, no, my mom would be rolling in her grave." The familiar sound of self-disappointment lingers in his voice. "I just wanted to talk to you about the I'm-," I cut him off again,

"Please don't say it," he turns his head up in confusion, "It makes it more real and I don't know if I'm ready to accept it yet." He nods his head in understanding. Thank god.

"I wanted to tell you that night, and everything went wrong and then I smelled all those men and my wolf and I lost our shit. God, I destroyed a whole tree after ward and you've changed so much from three months ago! How is that even possible? And then everyone kept on bringing up how you've been doing to good, going tothe _gym _and then it hit me how much I am like my dad and _I fucked up!"_ Oh shit, is Paul Lahote actually explaining his feelings to me? I can't help but stare at him in awe a bit, because this was _unexpected for me._ He pushes the sand and runs a hand over his face. I stay silent, I don't want to ruin whatever guilt trip he's on, because for once, I need to hear this, whatever it is.

"…Bella?" I snap out of my little thought and look down to where he is still positioned at in the sand, he's looking up at me and I can't really explain the look in his eyes. I just stare at him until he speaks again, "I don't know if you'll ever forgive me for that, but I'm gonna at least try to earn it the best I can. I'm not sure if I can ever erase that from your mind but…I'll try my best."

It wasn't a declaration of undying love or a happy forever, it was a promise to do right by me and all I could do in that moment was nod my head. I mean what do you say? Great, thanks! Glad you know how much you fucked up? No, words would not fix this. He's right, he has to earn my forgiveness with this if this is to ever work out in some form.

"Just…don't expect too much from me. If you think I've been selfish before, you're gonna think I'm an absolute bitch now." His eyebrows furrow in confusion at my words, so I continue. "I'm working on myself, on my own happiness, I've been selfish with what I wan to deal with and when I deal with it. If you prove to me that you can do the same, work on yourself and your happiness, then maybe we can…be fiends? Because I'm not gonna be ready for other stuff for a while. I don't wan this to be one-sided either though, so…it'll be a slow progress, I don't expect the world, I don't _want that_. I just want peace, all right?"

I let out a deep breath when he stands up and stretches his hand out to me, lips pursed, "Should we shake to it then? To peace, for now, at least?" I watch his hand and glance up at him, who is looking anywhere but to meet my eyes. I lift my hand and put it in his, shaking it, "To peace, for now." I answer in understandingand he snaps his head to the hands in shock. I let out a chuckle and after a couple seconds drop my hand, "But I better go now, I need to make sure my guest is still okay."

"Alright."

I start walking away, but stop in my track, spinning around, "Paul?" I say, " That doesn't mean I forgive you; you need to prove to me that you can not be a total jackass first." I spin back around, not waiting for his answer.

**XXX**

_I think that went well? I really have no Idea of what I did was even the right thing to do, but it might be a start…_And I now have a head ache, I rub my forehead slightly. The music is loud as I search for Daniel, which is no where to be found. I do find the girl he was dancing with earlier, so I go up to her and tap her on the shoulder. She turns around, "Yes?"

I smile and ask, "Hi! Uh, you danced with my friend earlier, tall, brown hair, kind of a dork? Do you know where he went?"

The girls eyes widen and she nods, "Yeah, uh…my boyfriend kind of…started a fight with him and they went to the parking lot, I think…"

What? I blink at her and my eyes are as wide as saucers, .fuck. did she just stay. My lips are pulled tight and I don't say anything to her, _Is she an idiot? _I head to the parking lot, which is a bit away and start full on sprinting. The closer I get, I start hearing cheering. _oh shit, no! _Danny can fight, sure, but he's just not that good, his form is poor not matter how many times people try helping him, he hasn't won a fight to this day, which is why I worry about him.I hope to god these are just weak fuck boys.

I find the crowd and break through, only to see what I guess it the chicks boyfriend, send him fling to the ground in one swing. I watch in shock, Danny's face is already bloody and this other dude, is a jock…_of course. _I groan internally.

"What the fuck are you guys doing?" I shout, putting myself between the boys. The Jock sends me a smirk and I feel his eyes scanning me; I shutter on the inside, _gross._

"What does it look like sweetheart?" He flirts, _ewwwwwwww._

_"_You're from Forks?" I note, looking at his jacket, "Should I get my dad? He's the chief of police, I'm sure he's _love_ to explain to the principal and head coach why one of their players can't play anymore." I threaten lowly. The crowed 'ohhhh's' . I roll my eyes and turn to the other boy, "Get up." I hiss lowly.

"Pfff, right, you're Bella Swan?" He mocks, "Ohhhhh! Right, you were gonna marry that pale dude all the girls went gaga over? What happened? Did he have a small dick or something?"

Okay, now I kind of get why Danny may have agreed to fight this fucker. I shake my head and help Danny up, who wipes his face, "Can we go?" He asks, his voice full of anger and a hint of shame.

"Hey buddy! Maybe if you hardened touched my girl, this wouldn't have been so humiliating." Jock taunts.

"Shut up asshole!" The young boy tries to charge art him and I manage to hold him back with my arm,

"Ignore him. Go get my dad and tell him whats going on." I tell him. Daniel glares at the guy and pulls away from me, muttering a 'fine'.

"How bout this? You can have Jane and I take this little firecracker? You look like you can actually count to five, hey maybe you'll like my dick more then pale face? Oh, wait, isn't that what these people refer to people like us? Aren't you friends with some of these redskins, maybe you've fucked them too, huh?"

My vision was red when I heard him say this, "What did you just say?" I growl at him, my fist clenching at it's side.

He laughs arrogantly, "Aww? Did I hit nerve?" He looks to his friends that stared at him like he was crazy, "I guess it's true then. Girls like you are so easy."

I step closer to him, the people around me are starting to disappear from my vision, "Not that, please repeat what you just called my friends?"

He bends downward toward me, he's about 6'1, I note and he smirks brighter, "Why? What is a little bitch you gonna do, huh? Are you mad because I called them _redskins?"_

I let out a calm breath, controlling all the fire in my body and close my eyes, relaxing my body for a second. I nod, "That's what I thought you said."

I swing my right hook straight into his jaw, watching as he falls backward onto his ass.

**XXX**

**A/N: First, I just want to apologize for the offense one of the words that are mentioned in a derogatory sense or that they are mentioned at all, I in no way condone this kind of thing, it is only used to further the story. I just want to apologize for having to use it at all. **

**And yes! Another chapter! I had some time today, so I wrote this, it was a pain. A lot of shit happened, some of it may be confusing as hell, but I tried making it as clear as I could. This chapter is also the longest so far! I got carried away and continued writing till I was halfway through my playlist on Spotify of 231 songs :P**

**Thank you everyone who reviewed again! I didn't think I'd get so much feedback, I was really happy! So glad you guys enjoy my story :) And many of you also don't like Paul, which is understandable, I read many stores where the guy is a complete jackass and the girl tries to go against him but falls absolutely in love with him, and I want to say no to that. I didn't make Bella into a strong woman trying to get her shit together only to turn her back into damsel in distress, and to one of my reviewers, yes, this isn't going to be an easy road at all, forgiveness needs more then just words! And thank you to another reviewer on my grad school comment last chapter, I need it!**

**Thank you all again for reviewing, following and favoring the Awakening! Please let me know what you think of this chapter! ^-^**


	11. When Hell Starts To Freeze

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

**When Hell Starts To Freeze**

The Jock holds the side of his face and looks up at the girl that just managed to successfully knock him off his feet.

And the girl is me, Bella Swan, who is actually quite shocked on the inside that she managed to knock this big, muscly, jock off his feet as well. Thank god that didn't last long when he opened his mouth.

"What the fuck, are you on steroids or something, bitch?" He glares at me from his place. I narrow my eyes and title my head to the side, a little smirk on my face. God, I want to beat him, but I need to hold on to my thoughts, analyze, don't let anger get the best of you, Swan. I control my breathing through rage, into a cold calculation.

"What, can't handle that a girl like me just kicked your ass? Maybe you're not as big and strong as you thought, huh?" I full on mocked him. In that moment I also knew that I spent a bit too much time around males.

Blondie got back up with an angry face, "You wanna play like that, I'm not afraid to hit some arrogant bitch like you! I'll gladly put you in your place!" He steps forward, fist in the air, aiming it toward my face.

I rolled my eyes, _god, this guy has no tact at all. _I step to my left, duck, stick out my leg to the right, avoiding his hit entirely, and turn around just in time to watch he stumbles. _No need to waste energy on some stupid high school football player. _

"I'm sorry, you said something about putting me in my place?" I shoot back at him with a blank face, the crowd did their…cheering, booing? I'm not entirely sure.

He straightens back up and pulls both his arms up and toward him, ready to send another hook with his right, this time I pull my right arm back and pull up my left arm, blocking his wrist, "!" I hear gasp in pain and push on his wrist down ward, distracting him, as I lift my knee up as high as I could, extending my leg out and the ball of my foot hits him in the stomach, once again sending him straight on his ass.

I drop my stance and step backward, looking at the big mouth cowering on the ground, wheezing, "Looks to me more like I put you in your place, bitch." I smirked, lifting an eyebrow at him. The crowd is silent, probably from shock?

"What the hell is going on here?" I hear the furious voice of my father. _That's why Bella, you sent Danny to go get him, remember? _Fuck. I turn around to meet my fathers very confused, yet slightly angry, maybe disappointments and…_what was that twinkling? _eyes. I swallowed hard, this isn't good.

"Did Bella…just kick someones ass…?" I glance at the shocked voice, which was none other then…Quil…of course, he's not by himself with Embry and Leah by his side. Quadruple. Fuck.

**xxx**

"Please explain to me what the hell is going on Bella?" My dad questions me franticly, walking back and forth in the grass in front of Sue's house.

After dad came and that whole spiel happened, he sent everyone away, and it's a good thing that the Jock I beat up was apparently 18, drunk and had weed on him, meaning that having a cop as a father is sometimes a good thing and the other guy wasn't _too _injured, so we got to an _understanding _about no one pressing charges.

"It's my fault Mr. Swan, I got into it and- ," Daniel came to my defense on his place on the stair to the Clearwater house.

"Zip it kid, I'll get to you when I'm done talking to my daughter." Charlie orders, cutting him off with his 'cop voice'. I shuffle on my feet uncomfortable as he turns back to my, "You told me you were doing boxing for self-defense! That didn't look like that, that looked like that stuff MMA fighters do!"

"Martial Arts has self defense!" I defend, kind of a weak point but…oh he's glaring at me now, "Sorry." I mumble.

My dad sighs, "That's not the point! Bella, I understand that you're going through some stuff right now, but that doesn't give you the right to beat up whoever pisses you off, you come to me and let me handle it." He argues, huffing out, his face red. Guilt enters my being at my fathers disappointed look.

"Ok dad, I get it…It wont happen again, can we please just talk about this at home." I voice, pleading with him. I didn't want to talk about it anymore in front of the wolves, Sue, and Billy.

"Charlie," Sue comes to his side, putting her hand on his shoulder, "Maybe you should talk about this at home. Let Bella drive the boy home and calm down, then talk." She reasons with him. I can see him calm down nearly instantly.

Sometimes I wonder is Sue has some kind of magic of her own, the way she calm down my father in most situations is mind-blowing _or he's just whipped? _The snappy little though passes through.

"You're right." He sighs, rubbing his temple a bit. "Bring the kid home, come home _straight after, _ok? No…funny business, or boxing, or martial arts. We'll talk in the morning." Sue shifts him, urging him inside the house.

"Yes, dad." I sigh in ultimate defeat. I mention for Danny to get up and he springs up and nearly sprints to the car, I look after him, unimpressed.

"I can't believe you beat someone up Swan!" Quil exaggerated, clapping me on the shoulder, "Hell is officially frozen!" I step away from him and glare.

"You might not wanna do that, bro, she might come after you next." Embry jokes, laughing next to him and I let my head drop backward, closing my eyes and letting out a frustrated huff, _this is why I didn't want anyone to know._

"Bella you gotta teach me that move!" Came Seth, sweet, innocent, Seth. I feel his sister glaring at me, so I turn to glance at her over by the stairs now. Our eyes meet and she gives me a nod, before going inside. _Huh. _I blink in disbelieve for a moment.

"I don't think you need my help kicking butt, Seth." I remarked. He's a wolf. Why would he need to know how to fight?

"But I want to know how you," He tried copying my front-kick, his stance was wobbly for someone who's supposed to have supernatural abilities, "did that for such a big dude." He goes to stand back to normal.

"First of all, your stance is all wrong, you need to balance yourself, and secondly, that guy could win in a real fight if he tried, his aim was shit and I did the literal minimum." I explain, thinking back on what that guy said, "His mouth was bigger then his bite." I was meant with silence, so I looked over to them.

"Wow." Embry said in amazement. Quil was watching me mouth wide, " You think Seth's stance is…wrong? How the hell can you tell from that, it looked accurate?"

I stare at them in disbelieve, " His leg is like this," I show them, "And it should be more like that." I move my own stance into the correct form, " With the way he is now, he could easily mess himself up because it's not balancing the rest of him for a guy like him."

"I stand corrected, Bella can kick ass and she knows what she's doing, jesus, that's terrifying." Quil mumbles to himself, Embry clap;s him on the back of the head and I shrug.

"I think it's kind of cool…I mean, you can fight now, that's fucking awesome." Seth cheers, nodding his head.

"Thanks Seth, but I didn't learn to fight, and tonight is a no-go because he didn't technically attack me, so it wasn't self defense, I was provoked." I admit sadly. As cliche as it sounds, that's not what this is all about and I nearly feel like I went a step back on my progress. Before they could say anything else, I quickly said, "Well, I better go before dad comes out and arrests me for real. See you later!"

"All right, but this isn't over!" Seth insists and I shake my head as they wave good bye. As I come closer to the car.

"Bella, wait a sec!" Embry yells as he runs after me, the other two already gone.

"What is it, Em? I really gotta go."

He stares at me for a second, before he moves forward and I feel his arm wrap around me in a tight embrace, "Thank you, Bella." Confused, I hug him back, "For?…" He pulls back, letting me go and I drop my hands at my side. He smiles at me, before his face turns serious and he quietly says,

"For what you did tonight…these event are open to the public and the tribe has them in the means of showing friendship…and people like that don't help with all the stereotyping and racism, so, thank you for defending us, it means a lot." Embry explains to me, frustration and disappointment in his eyes.

"Oh." I let out, wide eyed, "Well…you guys are my friends and…I really don't like seeing you guys hurt." I look away shyly as I said this, oh god, my face is hot. Embry laughs, not in a mocking way, just a nice 'this situation is getting uncomfortably deep' kind of way. "I seriously better go now. Ummm, have a good night!" I shudder, wanting to escape and turn around.

"Alright, goodnight and be careful." He says to me but doesn't leave, "You're not a bad person, Bella, I hope you know that." What? I turn around, but he's already gone.

_Not a Bad Person? _I smile, opening my car door, a little relieved. But there was still something else bothering me in the back of my mind.

**xxx**

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry about the update taking a little longer, I was caught in the mists of a common cold! I'm over the bad stuff, mostly, knock on wood! But here you go, it's short compared to last chapter, but as promised, don't get used to a certain amount of words with this one. **

**Well, I hope you guys liked this one, I'm sure by the end of this all I'm going to be able to perform some of my own martial arts because I need to do some research to make the moves work and then hope that it all make sense in the end...if not, I'm sorry :P Thank you to the feedback, follow's and fav's; many of you really enjoyed Bella and that's what I'm glad for! Let me know what you thought of this one too! Leave a review, follow and favorite if you'd like! Things are starting to pick up from here on.**


	12. The Winds Grow Heavy

Disclaimer:I don't own Twilight

**The Winds Grow Heavy**

"What took you so long?" came the annoying voice of my beaten friend after I closed the door of my car. I turn my key and pull out of the drive way before I answer him.

"Just saying bye to my friends." I say, "Oh!" I turn on the headlights quickly, my bad…

"Oh? Uh, yeah please don't get us killed. Also, that didn't look like just some 'bye', like I thing he like's you." Daniel wiggles hi eyebrows at me and I scoff.

"No way, Embry was just telling me that I did a good job." I deny at him. I mean, sure, Embry is cute, but he also one of Jake's best friends and that would be like, a hundred percent worse then Paul.

"Hmm, well if you say so, just saying that as a guy who isn't blind, there have been a couple of eyes checking out your ass." He informs me casually, shrugging his shoulders and putting his arms behind his head.

I feel hot and can feel the blush covering me up, "Okay, let's talk about something else!"

He chuckles at my face, "Just thought I'd let ya know, is all."

"Oh, I saw your other friend drag you away, what was that about?" He asks curiously, leaning forward, I can feel his eyes full of excitement.

I blink and think about what I should tell him, so much happened, I'm not sure how to talk about without the supernatural stuff, "That…yeah, he just wanted to talk about some things…he's sort of…had a crush on me for a couple years now and I don't like him that way." Yeah, I think that's a good way of explaining it, "Oh and then I ran into Paul."

"Oh shit! Spill, queen, what happened?" I let out a little laugh at his silly hand gesture.

"Oh, we just came to an agreement. No more glaring or being rude to one another…just tolerance, being civil, and we'll work on it from there."

Danny scoffs next to me and purses his lips in disbelieve, "That easy? Girl, you should have talked to him earlier if that's all it took."

"I guess," It's going to take a lot of work to get to where Paul and I can be okay with one another.

"So does he like you too?" I choked at the question and look at him, who is now grinning at me. I turn my eyes back to the road, "I will take that as a yes."

"Paul and I…don't know what we're going to do quite yet. But if it ever gets to a point like that, it's because we both can stand to be near each other and be happy about it with no hard feelings." Hopefully that clarifies what I'm trying to say, somehow.

"Urgh, Bella, that sounds like you guys got divorced and are trying to make a fake-good relationship thing because of your kid." Daniel judges, rolling his eyes.

"Shut up." I growl at him, back to being annoyed, "So tell me why you got into a fight with one of the jocks from Forks again?" I push to change the subject. His joyous mood drops a little,

"Hey, it ain't my fucking fault that the chick asked me to dance, okay? Besides, it's not like he's even loyal to her either, Jesus, I saw that idiot flirt with some girl that looked like, fourteen?"

I shake my head at his explanation, even though he is kind of right in some way, "So who threw the first punch? I need to tell my dad something, otherwise I might never go to Angeles again because I'm locked up in my room."

"Oh that? Yeah, no, we threw some smack at one another, he threw the first punch, 'cuz he's drunk, and then you came about a minute later. Like I got maybe one or two in? I don't even know if it qualifies as a fight…Oh but I came in time to see part of you beating that guy with barely any moves, so really, I think I would have been okay!"

If my eyes could roll any more then they did right now, they would have rolled out of my head. _He sure is cocky isnt he? He seems to forget that I kicked his ass during practice! _

"If that makes you feel better, sure, whatever." I don't think I had anymore spirit left in me to argue tonight, I sigh internally. I'm exhausted after todays events.

He lets out a laugh and shakes his head. Leaning forward, he turns on the heater, "It got cold quick, brrrgh" Shivering, he leans back and asks me, "But I'm curious on why YOU started to fight with him, I mean, you told me to get your dad, I thought you would try to calm the dude down, I really didn't find you the type to start fights."

"He said something that he shouldn't have."

"Must have been pretty bad if it called for a beating, damn."

I tighten my grip again, thinking about the whole situation I'm in now, " I could have ignored it really, but they're my friends, and I'm not going to stand by anymore and let jackasses like him go because they have some sense of high and mighty…God, my dad is going to send me back to ground me." I whined, how could I let my anger go that far…Feeling anger is okay, but I so let it go too far today, I should have walked away!

"…I get it…kind of. I mean, ya know, with what's going on and stuff, it ain't easy." Danny admits quietly, looking out the window. "Another thing I wanted to ask about, your dads a cop…is that why you asked about getting the police involved earlier?"

I bite my lip, "Yes."

"Bella, I understand that you're only trying to help, but please, for the love of god, don't _tell your dad_!" there was desperation in his voice and it made it all the harder to agree to him. Honestly, I should tell my dad, no matter what he asks of me, this isn't right and it makes me feel helpless in a situation I could help in, but possibly make it worse for Daniel.

"I told you I wouldn't if you don't want me too, but the smart decision would be to tell them, you know that." I argue at him again, the discussion from earlier coming back to rear it's head.

Daniel shakes his head in frustration, his hair oily from sweat, "You don't understand! If the cops get involved, everyone in my neighborhoods gonna know I'm a snitch, it's not just about me. I don't live in a good place, gangs are everywhere, drugs are everywhere, and so far my mom and I done a good enough job not pissing anyone off. You don't bother them, they don't bother you, so no cops!"

"…I hope you know what you're doing." Is all I added. There was no point in arguing with him, this was his life, his world of sorts, I didn't have a right to argue with something I didn't understand. All I can do is make sure he doesn't get hurt, or just kind of watch his back, _we aren't getting involved in other peoples problems anymore, _the voice of rationality told me.

**xxx**

It didn't take long for us to get to Daniels neighborhood. It didn't take long for me to understand his situation a little better. This area…was not safe.

"Well, this is me." He informs as we come up to a little tan house with a chain-link fence, a broken window, and a sad wooden porch. I park and pull out my key, looking around outside to see if there where any people. Wreathed I like it or not, this was the reality of our society and it sucked.

"Thank's for driving me home, you should probably head home now." He states, also looking very uneasy.

"Yeah, I'll wait till you're inside. Have a goodnight and thanks for being my back up…even though I guess I ended up being yours." I joke at him, letting out a little chuckle.

He rolls his eyes, "Yeah yeah!" And closes the door. I put the key back in the engine and turn it on. I watch as he opens the little gate of the fence and as he closes it, I see the front door of his house opening and a…tall guy with the same colored hair as Daniel step out, _his father? But I thought he disappeared? _I squint my eyes to get a better look at him, but its too dark to make out too much of a face. Daniel stands there for a second and I do his entire body tensing up, my grip on my steering wheel tightens, worry consuming my body as he starts walking to the door. The man goes to grip him on the shoulder and for a moment I see him lift his other arm up, _I think he want's to hit him, do something! _My insides are screaming but I can't move.

Everything in me freezes as that mans head snaps up and looks toward my car, our eyes meet, I can feel his eyes, they're burning into my own, _he's glaring at me_. I can see Daniels head turning around, his own eyes, _he's scared, go help him goddamn it. _"Go!" He mouthes slowly, "Now. I'll be fine."

I gulp, I don't know what possessed me to nod at him and turn my head away from this whole situation and _drive away. _

_"_I can't just leave him like that!." I mumble to myself, waiting for the light to turn green after I got out of the neighborhood. _But I said I wouldn't get involved and I did enough damage today, I can't worry about everyone and have people star worrying about me even more!d_

But this wasn't just any situation either, I was scared, that mans gaze…it had a lot of anger, anger I felt familiar, I've seen it before…_In Edward and Jacob, it was a look hard to forget, the look you hold when you really want to hurt something or someone.I_

"Goddamn it!" I growl in frustration and pull over to the nearby parking lot. Leaning my head against the steering wheel, I let out another grunt as a wave of panic hits me from trying to make a decision. _Since when have things become like this? _I really wonder. Have I always been so fixed on being a martyr? _You just don't like seeing people hurt, especially if they're your friends, _the me that has a lot of empathy says. _Isn't that the problem? Helping people? These issues aren't mine and I don't have the resources to help! _I argue back at myself. _Maybe its time to stop doing what everyone else wants you to do and for once just listen to your instincts! _God, I'm going crazy, aren't I? Having arguments with myself in the middle of the night in some abandoned parking lot… I let out another sigh and put my face in my hands, breathing slowly and evenly, trying to calm down a little. The last time I took things into my own hands…like cutting my hand during the newborn battle…or going to James willingly, because I thought he had my mom…or going after Edward, none of those things ever had a good ending, did they?

I drop my hands, calmed down a little and leaned back letting out a snort at myself; I've already made my decision, haven't I? With a huff, I turn the key and drive out of the parking lot, making a u-turn back to Daniels house.

Even though my gut tells me to go, my stomach turns in anticipation, fear, and something else that I can't name.

**xxx**

I park in the spot I dropped Danny off at in a hurry, and jumped out, making my way hurriedly to that house, jumping over the fence. As I got to the door, I noticed it was slightly open, the sound of weeping caught me off guard. _Is it still breaking and entering if the door is open? _I wondered as I walked into the house, trying to be as silent as I could. As I went around the corner with cautious steps, following the sound of the sobbing, I stop dead in my tracks.

There was a woman, _Daniels mom, he looks like her, _I note. She's on her knees, crying over what looked a lot like blood…I tried keeping my stomach from churning as the smell of Iron hit my nose. I slowly came up to her, clearing my throat from startling her too much.

Her head snaps up, her right eye is black and she's entirely disheveled.

"WHO ARE YOU!?" She screams at me, her voice strangled. I lift my hands up slowly and stay where I'm at, not making a move.

"I'm a friend of Daniels…I'm Bella Swan, I just dropped him off not too long." I explain softly. _Speaking of, where the hell is he?_

Something about what I said set her off as she bursts into hysteria, my eyes widen at her words,

"They took him! They took my son, my little boy!"

I felt sick to my stomach; my instincts where right.

**XXX**

**A/N: Hello, my dear readers! Sorry it took long again for this update, but damn, did I have a crazy week! Well, other then still getting over my cold, I also finished my graduate application and oh boy, just as I hit submit/pay, they said that my program was no longer available, even though the due date wasn't finished yet, so I had to call and apparently they switched the system in the middle of application process…how stupid :P But thankfully almost everything got settled and I turned them in on time, sadly my recommendation letters did not transfer from the old system, so I have to ask for all new ones again…I feel like my professors might not give me one if I ask for one more letter, but the graduate admissions people are really nice and understanding, so lets hope that I get enrolled for the spring, because I'm like panicking 24/7 over that. And also, my bother is getting married, they set the date last Friday, and guess we all got to go last minute wedding shopping as it is in 3 weeks and now some of my future sister in laws friends and I are trying to throw her a last minute bachelorette party in 2 weeks ( it's a hen house of no one being able to agree on something), while the boys kidnap my brother. And I'm fortunate, as I get to go on a 5 day excursion by myself to Paris and Amsterdam! So hopefully that goes well!**

**But anyway, sorry about that rant! It's been too much all at once on top of school. Wish me luck for the spring semester, I've been looking forward to that all year now!**

**I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and I know I say this every time by now, but I'm so glad you like my badass, ass kicking Bella! try to keep the interactions and characteristics like people her age would act (That makes it sound like I'm 40, lol, I'm only 22!) But I take characteristics and interactions from my friends, coworkers, and Book Bella and mix it in a pot, hoping the flavor is okay, with a kick ;) And as promised things are starting to pick up, some of you may love it, like it, hate it, tolerate it, but that's just how stories go!**

**Well, thank you guys for reading, reviewing, favoring, and following my story again, and I hope you leave some more reviews, letting me know what you think! Enjoy~ **


	13. The Glass Cracks

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

**Warning: This chapter contains explicit scenes such as mature/rape/blood. If you are under 18, DO NOT READ, there are no warnings for when the scenes happen.**

**The Glass Cracks**

"The fuck is goin'on in here?" I hear a slurred voice behind me, my fists clench tight. I turn away from the bloody scene in front of me and turn around to look at the son of a bitch, Danny's father.

_He looks just how I imagined. _Hair unkempt, oily, thick beard, beer belly, _I'm gonna throw up._ I think as I look at this disgusting human being. He turns his gaze to me and glares,

"Now who the fuck are you and doing in my house?" I clench my teeth together, that anger coming back up, now directed at this man.

"I'm looking for Daniel." I try to remain calm as I speak. You would think that I'd be feeling fear right now, but no…_I've faved worse then this._

"Ah, right…you that girl that brought the sorry bastard home earlier," his sleazy eyes drift over my body, I suppress a shiver at that, " yeah I remember, I saw you for a second…didn't know that boy had any friends." His eyes glance behind me, looking to the woman still on the floor, her sobbing has stopped, but I can imagine she's looking at the scene with eyes full of fear. In fact, _I can feel her fear radiating off of her, _I need to do something before he does something to her.

"You still crying like a little bitch? Clean the fuckin' floor and make some goddamn dinner!" He growls out moving toward her, his stance is aggressive. As he goes to move past me, I reach my hand out, grabbing him by the shoulder, he stops.

" .Daniel?" I demand, my grip tight. The look he gives me is filled with knifes, he lifts his hand trying to remove my hand.

"Now, you betta let go little girl, this ain't non of your business. I suggest you go home and forget all 'boutchyour little friend. He ain't here anymore." He threatens, but then a smirk grows on his face, he tilts his head, "But if you want, maybe you can stay and we can have a good ol' time."

Oh god, no, please I want to throw up now…but in that moment, rage took over me like it did at the beach; I pull my fist back below, where he wasn't paying attention and jab him straight in the stomach, he stumbles back, coughing.

"What the..fuck?" He snaps out between caught's, looking up at me, "I'll fucking kill you bitch!"

My gaze is cold and take a step back, "Try, bitch." I lift my leg and throw another kick in his stomach, stepping forward I throw a hook into his jaw. He falls to the ground, bleeding. He glares at me from the side, and swings his leg out, trying to kick my legs from out under me, I stumble for a second, and regain my balance, but by then, he's already standing again, both hands up in a fist. I get in my stance, waiting for him to throw the first punch, which he does within seconds, I duck down underneath him and spin and kick him into his side, grab his arm as I spin with my back to him and throw him over my shoulders onto the ground. He wheezes out in pain, and tries to get back up, I go and put my arm around his neck, trying to make him go unconscious, but he's still physically bigger than I am, so he manages to tangle himself free from my grip and get's up and runs out the door.

In my rage, I can't think straight, so I run after him at my full speed. I don't know where I'm even running, only that if I don't catch this mother fucker, the chances of finding Danny's location being slim. The night is cold and damp, but all I feel i s adrenaline growing through my veins. He's ten steps ahead of me, _easy. _

He turns into an alleyway and runs to jump over the fence at the end, I speed up and manage to grab his foot, but he kicks free, nearly hitting me. Jumping over the fence, he smirks at me for a second, I ignore it and climb the fence trying to jump over, but I notice something odd, _why is he just standing there? _I feel something grab my foot and I look down to see two men down below, sending me smirks. _Oh no! _I try to kick him in the face, but the other guy grabs me by the leg, I hold onto the top of the fence, _Oh fuck, oh no, please no!_

"Well, looks like you're in quite a situation, huh? Should'a just listened to me and left, but no." Daniels dad mocks from the other side.

"Who the fuck this chick?" The one guy asks, my head snaps over to him, _That voice sounds familiar…_

"No idea, but she kinda cute." The other guy answers, my eyes widen as they tuck on my leg, the wire of the fence digging into my hands, my fight or flight senses finally kicking in. _Don't let go! _

"She's all yours, watch out, she likes to start fights." The bastard tells the two guys, that I realized are from that other time Danny and I hid in an alleyway.

"Ah, it's the least thing you could do considering your bullshit." The one of them says, lifting his other arm, moving it around both my legs, keeping them from kicking around wildly, "Co'mon, help me get this bitch down." He tells the other dude,who let go of my foot. I feel his grabbing my other side, a hand over my butt, my breathing is heavy, fear creeping in.

"Let me go!" I warned,"My dad's a cop!" I try my best trying to get them to get away from me, and I hold on more, my hands bleeding now from the fence as I try to pull myself up, but instead they yank me so hard, with the pain in my hands, I let out a yelp, Iet go and fall to the floor, hard.

"She looks like a fish outta water!" One of them laughs, letting go of me. The other one lets go as well, "You think we care if your daddy's a cop?"

"Better get this shit over with. Hey Avan, hold her down, will you." The one guy said, I kicked my leg out at him, but Avan takes both my arms and pins them down, I try to flip myself forward so I could somehow get my balance back, but he was actually strong.

"Why do you get to go first? I did the most work holding her from goin' anywhere up there." He mentions toward the fence, "God, would you stop fucking wiggling already!" He shouts at me.

Well, sorry that I don't want to get fucking assaulted jackass! I panic more when the other guy _sits on me. _

_"_Cuz' I've been part'a this longer then you, now shut up." He goes to pull the zipper down on my hoodie. I close my eyes tight, he's too fucking heavy! I can feel tears forming in my eyes, through this. _This can't be happening, it can't be happening! Do something! I need to get out of here! I can fight one on one, but I don't know how to fight two!_ I go in panic, I don't know what to do, and I've never felt this helpless, at least when James attacked me, the goal was death, not…not _this!_

Don't cry, don't cry, _don't fucking cry!_ I need to calm down, find my last bit of strength, but for some reason, I just can't, where is this strong woman that could fight anything suddenly at? This entire time, I felt like I could actually take care of myself for one, but really have I just been overestimating myself? As I'm pinned to this cold, dirty floor, I can't help but let the realization that no matter what, just because I can suddenly fight, that doesn't mean I'm some kind of hero…

I can feel cold hands lifting my shirt up and I keep my eyes closed. _Calm down. _Something in the back of my head demands. _You are not weak, you are not a hero, but you are not weak! I_ take in a breath and unclench my teeth. _Relax, you can do this, Bella! _I see my friends flash in my mind, my family, mom, dad, hell, even Paul is there. _That's right, now, focus on your inner strength, like Eddie tells you to, and push it all OUT. _Okay, breath, relax, I've got this, breath, in, out, relax, inner strength, _somethings tingling in my veins…_ _PUSH IT OUT! _I open my eyes.

"What the fuck!" One of the guys screams out as he flies into the wall and lands on his face on the ground, the other guy in another corner.

But I stay laying there, on the cold ground, watching in amazement and shock as…there was a blue light around me.

I didn't notice Daniel's father still on the other side of the fence, who lifted his hand to cover his eyes from the light. He put his hand down and watched in amazement, looking at the other guys conditions, he spun around and high tailed it out of the alley.

"What the fuck are you, fucking freak!" The other guy groans out. I sit up and look at my hand, _What the actual fuck was that? _I look up toward the thugs, who are trying to come back at me.

"Dude, fuck that shit…" Avan says as his eyes widen and he decides to take a step back, "Na ah, I ain't doing this, she ain't normal." He turns to run out the alley as well, but his friend stops him, grabbing him by the shoulder.

"You aren't going anywhere. We're gonna knock her ass out and take her to the boss, the reward's gonna be worth it!" He convinces Avan, who looks at me with a look of terror. _What a change, _something in me muses.

I go to stand up and pull my shirt back down, thank god he didn't get very far. I see them coming toward me again and get ready in my stance, _I can do this, _this time, I'm confident.

"I'm not afraid of you." The nameless guy tells me and I send him a smirk. _Wrong decision. Remember, push it out. _

He takes steps toward me, and not much changes, except that when I sent him a jab in the face, he fell to the ground and _screamed in pain. _I watch, now with a little bit of terror as I see welts growing on his face.

"It burns!" He screams in pain, holding his face in his hands, _hands that tried to rape me. _My veins feel cold at the thought, and I grab his wrists into my hands and _snap._ His screams snapped me back to reality and I took a step back and watched in terror, aimed at myself, at what I just did. _What the hell did I just do?_

I stand there as Avan grab his friend and they run out of the alleyway, but I can't bring myself to care, all I can think about is the fact at what I just did _out of pure malice and revenge. _I blinked at my hands, what was that? No, seriously, what the fuck just happened, it feels like it all just happened so quickly…

Shaking my head, I look over to the fence and the throbbing in my own hands makes me pay attention to the cuts in my palms. I let out a sigh, _I need to go back to that house and call my dad, as much as I don't want to._

**xxx**

Getting back to the house, I knocked on the door and stepped in. "Uh, Mrs. Anderson?" I called out. She comes around the corner cautiously, a rag in her hand stained in blood, _Daniels blood. _I wrinkle my nose in discomfort, turning my eyes to her…emotionless ones.

"Did you find my son?" She asks, jaw clenched. I shook my head, her eyes finally displaying an emotion again, "I can't believe he would do something like this…" Her eyes turn down and my hands catch her attention, "He's turned for the worse," Her voice is in disbelieve as she turns around walking toward the direction of the kitchen, "take a seat, I'll get something for your hands."

I do as she says and sit by the kitchen, as she comes back with a small first aid kit and a bottle of peroxide. She kneels down and start cleaning it, "You learn fighting at that place with my son." She doesn't ask, just states it.

"Yes." I answer anyway, just because I don't know what to say right now and it's awkward. She hums in response and finishes it up, "You might need to get it checked out at a hospital". Going to throw away the wrappers, she stands by the sink and runs a hand through her hair.

"My…husband has really managed to fuck our lives up to this extent. He used to be loving…in the beginning, but that's really just so long ago, I'm not even sure if it's real." Her voice is shaky as she talks about it. I don't respond, I mean, what do you say in this type of situation? There's a little bit of a silence as she washes something in the sink now, and I think about how to bring it up.

"I…," I start saying, fiddling with my hands and letting out a sigh a second later, this can't be this hard to bring up, "I think we need to get the police involved." I spit out.

The water stops running and she turns toward me, looking me over, "You're not from around this area, are you?" I see her judgmental stare digging into me. I shake my head, "I thought about it, calling the cops, more then once, " She continues, "But the risk is too high." This makes me angry, _the risk is too high? _

_"_How is the risk too high? Your husbands a fucking criminal and now your son's been kidnapped. All of you are talking about the risks of involving the cops and just letting the situation get worse? Because they don't do anything to help you?" I snapped at her and I get up, she's glaring at me opening her mouth, ready to speak, "Yet you guys aren't doing anything for yourselves to make it better either, and in fact, it just makes the situation worse….You we're crying earlier, right over there," I point at the spot the blood stain was still at, " About how they took your son and now you seem like you couldn't give less of a shit. What the hell is that about?"

Mrs. Anderson pursed her lips together, anger in her eyes and I couldn't give less of a shit, how dare she say the risks are too high? It made me furious.

"No matter what you try to do, this is beyond us. We need to involve the cops, at least that way the son you cried for earlier, might have a chance of still being alive." I explain to her, apparently hitting a spot, because she flinched. After another moment of silence, she sighs and drops her arms in defeat, nodding her head.

"Good." I say.

**xxx**

I go into the bathroom and call my father, sitting on the toilet seat in exhaustion. It rang two times;

_"__Bella, where in the hell are you at? Do you know what time it is?" _ He bursts in the other end and I drop my head.

"Sorry dad…I'm sort of…stuck in a situation here." I say vaguely.

"What's going on, Bells?" He asks, worried.

"Okay…please stay calm…but…" I explain to him most of what happened, leaving out the parts where I ran out after the guy and everything after that. There was a silence on the other end.

"Okay Bella…I can't do much, because that's not my part of town, but I'm gonna call the chief of P.A. and let him know the situation," He explains calmly to me, and I let out a sigh of relief, "But don't go anywhere…they probably wan to question you and…I'm coming to pick you up, I'll bring one of the guys to drive your car back. Got it? Don't you dare move from your spot."

"Yes sir." I answer him. He hangs up and I lean back, letting out a groan; my body feels soar, I just want my bed right now, it's so late.

I get up and walk outside, back to the kitchen, "They should be on their way." I let her know.

"There's tea, if you want it." She answers back, pointing to the mug across from her seat at the table.

"Thank you." Taking a seat, picking up the mug I almost sigh in relife. I need something, probably something stronger, but tea is the healthier decision here until my dad gets here.

It only takes ten minutes for the bell to ring. Daniels mom stiffens up as she looks toward the window with uncertainty.

"…you should probably answer that." I state looking at her. Her eyes glance at me in annoyance, and honestly at this point I know that I might never be on a good note with her, but this isn't a situation to care about things like this. As much as I'd rather be out there, looking for Danny and turning every corner upside-down to find him, I can't._ I'm not that capable and even if I was…_I look at my hands, pursing my lips, _I don't know what the hell that was about…_

I shake my head and watch as she finally gets up when the door rings again, and get up to follow behind her. When she opens the door, a tall woman stands there, a serious look on her face, "We've received a call from Chief Swan from Forks about a kidnapping."

**xxx**

After we let the Police in and explained to them the situation, and being briefed myself, I've never been so relieved as I sat on the doorstep and watched my dads cruiser park by the road. I've explained what I could to the cops, about me being worried and going back because I had a bad feeling and hearing a scream, to how he ran out and I tried following him out to see where he was going. I left out the parts where I instigated a fight because he went to, most likely, hit his wife, and about following all the way to the alleyway.

When Mrs. Anderson went to give her piece of the story, she thankfully left out that part as well, but when she explained what happened after Danny came home, how her husband was already there and she's just gotten home from work and went to the bathroom. She heard yelling and came out, to see the scene of her son being taken, he was already unconscious then, she tried running after them but her husband held her back and didn't let go until they had driven away. She didn't know what exactly they did to her son, just that she knew the blood in the kitchen was his. The police did their thing, looking around the rooms now and the neighborhood trying to find evidence.

And that's why I'm sitting by the doorsteps outside, trying to stay out of everyones way. I let out a sigh and watched my breath in the cold air. I didn't get up when my dad walked up to me, with Sam following behind him, an equal worried look on his face.

"Bella?" Dad asks me, sitting next to me on the porch.

"Hey Dad." I feel guilty and I'm sure he could hear it in my voice. A hand touches my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" He asks and I nod my head a little and I really don't know what to say to him,"Did they already question you?"

"Yup." I turn to him now, and its like the exhaustion is slowly hitting me, "Can we please go home?"

He nods his head and pats me on the shoulders, "Let me get the clear from Chief Annesley and we can head out…Sam is gonna drive your car back and you're going to ride back with me." He get up and walks into the house, showing the other guys his badge, they let him through without issues.

I turn back around and nod at Sam as I reach in my pocket and hand him the key, "Here you go." He leans forward and takes them, standing there quietly for a second, before he glances to the door. He takes a step and a seat next to where Charlie just sat at.

"Are you really okay, Bella?" He asks me with his serious 'I-am-Alpha' voice. I let out out a grunt and lean my head forward on my knees, that are pulled toward me, "As good as I can be, my friend just got fucking kidnapped, Sam…how the hell am I supposed to feel?" I answer back, maybe with a little more attitude that I wanted to, but too late.

"Your hands injured." He states, going in to take my injured hand into his. I lean away from him, I wasn't in the mood to be touched by anyone right now.

"Alright, I get the hint." He lets out a sigh, "But you need to talk about it, it'll make you feel better…don't you have a therapist now or something?" He throws out there, trying to be helpful, I guess.

I look at him with a blank face, "And I'm sure when I go see her next week, I'll be telling her all about this, but right now, I'm not in the mood to talk about my feelings, least of all you." Okay, wow, that was rude of me, but it had to be said.

Sam looks taken a back, like he's surprised I would ever actually have the guts to be rude. I look away from him, my emotions are a rumbling mess right now and I'm trying so fucking hard trying not to have a goddamn break-down right now.

"You've changed a lot, you know." My head snaps up to look at him and I'm about to throw some remark at him when my dad interrupts.

"Alright, you're good to go. They'll get me informed of the situation and when thet might need to talk to you again…Are you ready to go?" Dad informs me, running his hand through his hair. I twist my neck around and nod at him, "Yeah, lets go." I get up and make my way to his car. I was seated and belted in faster then I've ever been and I look around to see my dad saying something to Sam before heading to the car and getting in.

He puts on his seatbelt and turns the key in the engine and off we go. It's silent for the first five minutes and I watch the trees fly past in the dark, thinking about the things that have happened. I still can't wrap my head around it, honestly it feels like a really bad dream.

"You're not okay, Bella," dad tells me, "I thought you were getting better and you were, but…what exactly did you get yourself into?"

"I don't know." I tell him honestly, turning my head to look at him, "I thought I finally found that something that makes me feel kind of normal, normal friends, normal job, a therapist, and a hobby." I explain to him, "Maybe it was all just a distraction to get over Edward." I mean what if it was? What if this entire time, when I thought that I was doing things for myself and getting out of this supernatural haze, I've just been doing the same thing I did back when Edward left me, distracting myself.

"Don't say that!" Dad groans out, "Bella, I've been watching you, you've been doing great, you're so much happier, more then I've ever seen you. I don't think this has anything to do with Edward, I just think this has a lot to do with the fact that you've never been really in a rebellious phase and maybe this is you finally experiencing it in some way. People have always been dependent on you, so you always did what you could to help them, but never yourself" He admits to me, his tone guilty, "For what it's worth, I'm glad you're finally doing something for yourself and if that means its Boxing, Martial Arts, whatever, then go do it, but please for the sake of my heart, be careful."

I blink up at him, astonished a little, I was getting myself prepared for a long lecture, but this is a surprise… "So you're not mad at me?" I try.

He snorts, laughing, "Oh, I'm mad that my little girl is involved in something that could put her life in danger, what the hell where you thinking going in there? You should of called me or 911 the second you heard the scream!" He lectures, ahhhh there it is…

"But I am proud that you kicked the jocks ass, but don't ever do that again. Keep that stuff at the gym, it's going to be hard for me to explain why my daughter is in jail." He explains to me, shaking his head in disbelieve, "I just hope your friend is gonna be okay, he seemed like a nice kid."

"He is," I tell him, "I'll try not to let it happen again, dad…thanks for understanding."

"You're an adult, you can make your own decisions. But that kid…he's only 17? I can't believe his dad would…" He shook his head, like he's trying to wrap his head around the idea, "From what the Chief explained, that guy has so many warrants out for his arrest and to have his own son be taken like that…Bella if that was you, I don't think I could be as calm as that mother of his was." He sounds suspicious and I raise and eyebrow at him. Does he think she's got something to do with this?

"Do you think his mom also had something to do with it? I mean I found her crying over…over his blood and…I don't know dad, but from the conversation we've had, she just seems like she shut down." I explain, looking, trying to scan my brain for anything suspicious during that short meeting,"I just can't see it." I shake my own head in denial.

"You never know, Bella. People are more complex then ever currently. You need to be more careful. If you see something, turn the other way and call me, don't handle it yourself." He tells me and I nod my head, already knowing that I probably won't be able to keep that promise, _You know you won't. _

**xxx**

When we finally come home, Sam was already waiting at the porch with Emily and their truck parked in the drive-way as well. I barely have time to get out, when she comes barreling at me, taking me into her arms, I have no time to properly react.

"Are you okay? Sam told me that your friend from earlier got kidnapped!" She hugs me tight and I glare at Sam. She backs away, her hands on my shoulders and eyes scanning me up and down, frowning when she sees my hand.

"I'm fine!" I snip out fast, trying to stop her from mentioning my hand, dad hasn't noticed it yet. I put my hands into my pockets, "Thanks Emily, but I'm going to be okay, but I really just want to go to bed right now." I admit, hanging my head a little. I'm so damn tired, worried, and scared. I just wan to find my friend. She nods her head and lets go, "I understand," turning to Charlie, she nod and smiles at him, "Goodnight Chief Swan, let us know if you need anything else."

Charlie nods at them and goes over to Sam, clapping him on the shoulder, "Thank you for tonight, get home safe and let me know if there is anything I can do for you."

"Not a problem. We better get going, goodnight Chief," Sam shakes dads hand and turns to me, nodding "Goodnight Bella." I nod back at him.

"Let's go inside." I follow behind my dad and don't stay outside to watch them drive away. I look over to my dad, who was putting his police gear that I didn't even notice, back where he usually has it. I frowned at myself, _he was worried to death, _I confirm, of course it's not like I didn't know it, but…I can't afford to keep scaring my dad like this.

"Goodnight dad, love you." I say as I go over to hug him tight. He pauses for a second, before hugging me back a little tighter then usual, "Goodnight, love you too Bells."

**xxx**

My feet feel heavy as I made it to my room. I closed the door behind me and take off my gross hoodie and then my shirt, _I can still feel fingers trying to lift it up, _a disgusting shiver made it up my shoulders. I pulled off my pants and grabbed my sleeping clothes, putting them on. I turn to pick up the discarded clothes and _I want to throw them out. _

As I stand there, looking at my clothes the images of all that happened tonight start to make their way into my head one by one. I shake my head, _Stop, nothing happened to you, you saved yourself! _I go and toss the clothes in the trash can anyway, _I don't need a fucking reminder. I need a shower._

But how the hell did I do that? My hands glowed blue…I glowed blue and tossed them off of me…what the hell was that? _Maybe there's still a little bit of venom left inside of my veins? _That can't be though! Vampires don't fucking _glow! _

And Danny! Danny, he's still a kid and he got kidnapped,_ is it even kidnapping if your own father hands you over? _

Blood and touches, the fence digging into my hands, trying to hold on for dear life as that bastard just _fucking smirks like it's the best thing he's ever seen! _I can feel the bile rising in my throat. _He would have just watched me get raped, he even told them to have at it ! If whatever I did didn't happen, I would have been…_

I ran to my trash can and let out everything I had in my stomach. _Oh god, _as I finished, I can feel tears threatening their way out, _What am I gonna do? What about Danny? What if he's not okay? What if he's already dead!? _Panic, oh shit, I can't breath!

"Haaa," I try to calm myself, _breath! Breath! Slow, I need to calm down…_That thought reminded me of being held down, creeping hands up my shirt, I can't move! I slide to the floor, holding my head in my hands, _oh god oh god oh god, _it was all too much, I can't breath, tears are flowing out and they won't stop and Charlie stayed downstairs to watch some tv, so he can't hear me. _My chest feels tight. Breath breath! Why isn't it working, damn it! _I'm in full panic, and I can't get a grasp on anything as I keep remembering it all, _It's too much! _I'm sobbing at the pain in my chest, _it hurts, _I let out a whimper.

"You're okay!" I feel warm arms go around me, "Ssshhhh, you're going to be okay, just hold onto me, I've got you." For a moment I felt safe and gained enough control over my body to look up at the person holding me.

"_Paul?" _I realize as I get a better look at him, he hold me tighter,

"Yeah, it's me. Just let it out, but breath okay, Bella? I'm here, don't worry." I never expected to hear such caring words from the worlds angriest werewolf, but in that moment, I didn't care.

I threw myself into him and I let out all the exhaustion, all the emotions that I've been feeling today that hit all at once.

**xxx**

**A/N: Hello my readers! It's been over a week since I last posted and I am so so sorry, but life has been busy! I went to Paris and Amsterdam for a week and decided that I'm too stupid to use the metro system and ****_walked _****to all the good places, which according to my phone is about 20,000 steps a day…my feet are in pain! And my brothers wedding is coming up, so we had a bachelor/ette party for those two; equally as exhausting! In fact, my whole body hurts and I still got homework to do and graduate school to turn everything into, so yeah…life :P**

**But, I hope you…liked the chapter, minus certain parts that I wanted to throw myself out of the window for. So I have no idea how to write that kind of stuff and I certainly did not want to over do it. I need to show that Bella is not invincible, she is still vulnerable; just because someone is strong doesn't mean they can do that all the time, Bella has issues and now she's going to have more issues. I'm trying to keep it realistic, while going a fantasy rout as well, which is…difficult to write, and trying to portray everyones emotions on this rollercoaster of confusion is more so. **

**Well, thank you to all those that review, liked, favored, and followed last chapter! I'm glad you like my story and hope you continue to read even though I just threw one ugly bear into the mix. Please review, follow, favor and like this one as well, and I'll see you next chapter! **

**P.S: The writing of this chapter may not be as it is usually, I wrote kind of fast and didn't have time to go back and check everything with dialect, dialogue, grammar, and spelling, but this is a longer one.**


	14. Halloween's Ridiculous

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

**Halloween's Ridiculous**

"…sorry I got snot all over you…" I apologize, handing Paul a small bottle of hand sanitizer and tissue from the box in my room.

He took and whipped his shoulder off, "Don't worry about it."

I bit my lip and looked away full of embarrassment of crying all over him and…just because I'm not dating him, doesn't mean I don't think he's a little hot….

"Anyway, umm, so where you in the area?" I am curious, maybe it was a lucky accident that Paul was patrolling.

He stands up and shrugs his shoulders, but nods his head in the direction of the window, "I was patrolling and felt something off, so I came and checked and…you know the rest." Paul scratches the back of his neck, "Is it okay if I ask you what happened?"

I tilt my head to the side, since we had our talk at the beach a few hours ago, I don't feel that angry anymore and he's become a little cuter than before and…_oh god shut up and don't become THAT girl! _I shook my head, "Yeah it's okay…uh," how to I tell him what happened without pissing him off? " I dropped my friend off at home but his dad was there…they don't get along, but I left anyway, had a bad feeling, so I turned around and everything just felt off," he looks calm so far, " I went to the door, it wasn't closed, heard a cry and then I just went inside, saw his mom there, she was sitting over…over his blood…" I take in a breath, my voice is shaky again and I can feel my heart race at image, "His dad came then…I knew that he was the reason, I asked where Danny was…and he ran out of the house, I tried going after him," I'm not sure if I should even tell him the rest, "I didn't have much luck with that." I fiddle with my hands and plop down on the bed; it was the best feeling I've had today.

"You really are attracted to danger, aren't you." Paul stated with a sigh of his own, I look up to see him run his hand through his hair before he comes up to me and kneels down in front of me. My eyes widen a little when he takes my hands into his own, I glance at them but he clears his throat and I look up, into his eyes. They're…very open, clear, brown and…nice.

"I know we don't really get along and we just made an agreement, so I understand that there's more to the story that you don't want to tell me. You've faced vampires, so some blood and a kidnapping shouldn't put you in such a panic…" He lets go of my hands, " When you're ready you can tell me…or if you never wan to tell me at all, that's okay too, just be more careful, okay. You're still my imprint, if something happens to you, something terrible, whoever did it, I'm gonna wanna to tear em' up to shreds and serve it to you on a silver platter."

"Oh." Is all I say, because there isn't a proper reaction to all what he said that might be appropriate, I just feel awkward and nervous.

Paul lets out a little chuckle and shakes his head at me before getting back up, "Bella Swan, there's never a dull moment in your life, is there?"

Letting out my own little laugh, I also shake my head, "I guess that's just my life."

He gives my head a little awkward pat, "Well, you look a little better…I'm gonna go and continue my shift, let me know if you need anything else," he tells me, heading to the window and opening it, with one leg hanging over the edge already, "Seriously Swan, if you're in trouble let someone know, don't keep doing it all by yourself just because you have something to prove." And with that last statement he jumped out, letting his words linger in my mind.

_Something to prove? Is that the impression I've been giving off? _Urg,honestly, I need to go take a shower, wash my face, which is full of dried snot and tears and go to bed. I quickly pull out my phone and check the time, _It's already 2:11 am, October 31st…tomorrow is Halloween on a Sunday…_Time sure flew by, didn't it? I look down at my hands again, _blue glow…power? Maybe I've just gone fucking crazy and I'm really in a mental hospital, in some kind of coma right now? _I let out a snort at that, yeah right!

**xxx**

"Beeeeellllllaaaaaaaaa!" Seth whines from the other side of the living room, as I've got my feet up on the couch, reading some magazine that was just lying around.

"What?" I flip the over to the next page, only to have it take out of my hand by said werewolf, who is made of speed. I glare at him, "I was reading that!"

"Teach me how to fight like that? Please!" He begs, letting the magazine flop on the ground. I roll my eyes, why does he need to learn to fight for, the boys already got supernatural powers! I glance around the room, and lean forward,

"You're aware that you can turn into a giant puppy, right?" I whisper.

"Yeah, but I can't fight normal people like that…" He pouts, showing his age.

"Leave her alone, Seth." Leah says walking into the room, surprising me a little honestly, "Even if you knew MMA stuff, you could still get someone killed."

"Shut up Leah, no one asked you!" He snaps at her, "Whatever!" And he goes to leave the room in a hurry. I squint my eyes at the situation…is Seth mad at Leah?

"Did you guys fight or something?" I ask her curiously, but lean forward to pick up my magazine again, "Not that it's my business or anything." I add, just to be safe. Leah doesn't move from her spot, I notice, so I glance over the pages with a raised eyebrow, _she looks kind of conflicted there._

I hear her footsteps come closer to me, so I put down the magazine and look up at her, _wait a fucking second, I have never been able to hear the wolves's footsteps before! _I freeze up, _Am I developing powers? _

"Hello?" movement in front of my face has me snapping out of my daze. I blink and look up at the girl.

"Yeah?" She glares at me, like she always does and steps back rolling her eyes.

"Pay attention, Swan. If I didn't know you a little, I would've assumed your rude." Her snide comment didn't do anything to hurt my feelings, in fact, I'm pretty sure I've been acting rude on purpose sometimes, "Anyway, just wanted to let you know, your dad wants to talk to you."

"Alright, I'll go talk to him." I get up and make my way out of the room, when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn with a raised brow.

"I saw what you did last evening to that guy…heard what you said…thanks." And with that she moves past me, and follows the same direction Seth took. _Right, I beat a guy up last night…I forgot in all the other drama, really. _I should go find my dad and make maybe do something, maybe go on a run? I haven't gone out on an honest run in a while, _yesterdays chase doesn't count…I need to get my mind straight, it's getting confusing again._

**xxx**

Dad was waiting for me in the kitchen, alone for once. He mentions for me to take a seat at the dinning table.

"I've gotten back some reports…thought you might want to know." He begins and I nod my head, I'm sure by now my eyes are filled with worry, _Have they found Danny?_ A small ounce of hope breaks through.

Charlie grunts and his face grows serious, my hope disappears, I know that face, _it's the face he uses when he gives families bad news, I remember from the times I spent at the station with him when I was little._

"They haven't found Daniel yet, but they have an idea of where he might be at…the Port Angeles police has been dealing with these things for a while now, similar incidents around the whole Seattle area actually. They suspect organized crime, it's a Russian mafia sub level faction that is around all of the world, really." Dad pauses and looks at me. I don't know how to feel about this other then being more confused than ever.

"Are you saying this is some high class Russian crime operation that took Danny?" I ask in disbelieve, how was I supposed to believe that? No offense, but what's so special abut Danny to be taken by them, and why is his dad involved in it? Surly they don't care about something like gambling? _It's the Russians, why wouldn't they take advantage of an opportunity? _"No offense dad, but that sounds a little…ridiculous to me right now." I tell him honestly.

"But that's the world we live in Bella. There are things out there that you don't understand. We don't live that far away from Russian, so Washington actually has a very high Russian population, which also comes with a faction of Organized crime, it's hard to follow and lots of the police stay away from that because of the high-risk operation stuff. But what I'm trying to say is that there is a small section in P.A. which deals with stuff like gambling, human trafficking, drugs, that type of stuff. If his father was involved with gambling, it's not surprising he would also be involved with the drugs and stuff to be tricked into selling his son off as a payment, if he couldn't afford it." Dad's shoulders tensed at the last part, avoiding my eyes. I'm half sure that I understood what he was trying to tell me.

_Daniels chances are slim, he may not even be in the country any longer at this point. _I drop my head in my hands, "Holy Shit."

"Bella, I can't promise that they're going to find him and in what condition if they do…" He comes over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder, " you need to be prepared for the worst."

"Yeah," I mumble, "I need to go out, get some air." I tell him and get out of the chair.

"Be careful." He nods, giving me a one armed hug.

**xxx**

Once I was outside, I walked past the houses decorated, pumpkins everywhere, kids dressed up, filled with joy, not a worry in the world, such a cliche scene for such a…depressing moment in my life.

I wanted to run, but couldn't find the energy to, didn't have the motivation, so when I saw some empty bench near a playground, but far enough not to be wired. Sitting down, I let my head fall backwards and closed my eyes,_ things where so good, I was getting better, everything was getting better and now it got ten times worse, what am I going to do? _The thought of Daniel being dead had me wanting to go back up to Port Angeles and find those guys and…_and let out whatever threw those guys into the wall._ My eyes snap open and the bight clouds hurt.

I flinched and blinked a couple times, trying to see right again, rubbing my eyes. I feel like I don't even have a proper way to deal with this and I can't just ssit around and cry all damn day, but I can't _do _anything myself either. I let out an irritated sigh and cross my arms over my chest.

"Excuse me, miss?"

I glance to my left, irritated, _what is it now? _Only to look at a little girl dressed as Venom…_cute,_ my eyes soften a little, you could see it was a homemade costume.

"Yes?" I ask keeping my voice soft.

"You look very sad, my daddy said that if people are sad, you give them chocolate to keep the dementors away." She tilts her head to the side a little, her pigtails falling with her. I can't not smile a little at her, aware of the reference.

"Your daddy sounds like he knows what he's talking about."

She reaches in her little pumpkin basket and pulls out a snickers, "Here you go, you'll feel better after that!" and she pushes it into my hand and runs off, "Have a nice day!" I blink at the empty space she just stood and then at the candy in my hand. _I kind of feel like she got that from that snickers commercial…_

With a shrug, I opened the candy anyway, maybe it would actually help me feel better. I leaned back against the bench as I chewed and just looked around at all the kids and adults dressed up. Most of then weren't even scary; unicorns, fairies, a horse, witches, Harry Potter characters, heroes, and villains…the usual bunch really. _I wonder why she wanted to be venom?_

Kid's are innocent, they usually don't go for things like that, maybe she didn't understand the nature of venom and how he's spiderman biggest enemy…or maybe she just likes it because she's a kid and doesn't care for if one is a hero and the other a villain.

_One is a scary parasite alien thing and the other a guy that got superpowers by being bit by a spider…_Why am I thinking about this? I have other things to worry about, then some spider that shoots webs out of it's hands!

Wait…_wait a sec…_I lift my hands up and look at them with an intensity that hurt my eyes, my brain went into overdrive…_did I get bit by a spider? _I stare at my hands, _okay are we officially loosing it? I'm not gonna turn into spiderman. _I drop my hands at that ridiculous idea, god, why is everything so ridiculous lately? Me, a superhero? No way in hell is that going to happen.

Vampires are real. Werewolves are real. Why not this too? Because if that were the truth, I think I'd lose my sanity. _Then how do you explain the blue light glowing off of you and throwing these guys into a wall a bunch of feet away from you? Luck? That's not a thing in your life, you don't have luck. _So what should I do, go jump off a building and see if spider webs come out or if I float?

"God!" I snap out, running a hand over my face with my teeth grinding against each other. And say that, that is what's going on…there is no explanation about how I got this, the vampire venom can't do things like that, plus it's been sucked out of me.

_Not everything needs an explanation, _pops into the back of my head. I let out a sigh and get up. I look around and the Forrest catches my attention, _it would be a private place, but the wolves…_I take a look behind me and shake my head, _don't worry about it._

I make my way toward the Forrest, once at the edge, I pull out my head phones and put them in, and start running, _the further in we get, maybe we can check this out and if we get found…don't worry about it._

**xxx**

I ran for an hour before I finally found a spot good enough. _Do I even know the way back? _ I half shrug the thought off, lets worry about it when it get's there. Now, what are we going to do? I stand in my spot next to a dead tree, somewhere in the Forrest with my hands on my hips, lips pursed.

_You could get eaten by a mountain lion? _I roll my eyes at myself, I'm attracted to dangerous situations, get over it.

"Maybe if I…just do what I do at the gym?" I think out loud and get into my usual position and start doing some basic excursuses for thirty minutes. _Jab, jab, hook, duck low, upper cut, chin jab, high kick, front kick. _

Once done, I try to regain my breath, okay and how do we go on from here, what do they even do in superhero movies to find out their powers? _They're usually in danger when they find out…_I roll my eyes, check that trope as marked. _I was thinking something, telling me to…push it out, _yeah but push _what _out?

I stretch my hand out, like last night, getting that uncomfortable panic from last night again, remembering disgusting touches, a shiver down my spine, _Concentrate!_

I grit my teeth and force the memory down, okay come on Bella, you can do this, you did it last night it should be easy now. _Push it out! Push all the feelings out! _My fingers stretch apart and the skin plus over my palm, _in fact all this pushing feels more like I'm about to take a shit. _

I let out a sigh and drop my arm to the side, losing my tense hold, this is crazy! I walk back and forth, eventually tripping over a rock. _Well, fuck you too! _and proceed to kick the rock out of my way and watch it fly and land with a _tut_ in a tree…_IN _a tree. I carefully walk over to it and see the rock, the size of my fist, so not very big, lodged in the bark…_okay, now it's true, somethings going on with me for real now. _

I spin on my heel and grunt in frustration, because why can't I just get the thing I did last night to happen now. I glare at my hands, and clench them into fist, unclench, clench, unclench.

"Why won't you just fucking _work!?" _I yell out, throwing my clenched hands downward, letting them unclench.

I'm pushed at least a step back as I watch a burst of…something happen. It's the blue light, _pushing _everything in it's path out of the way, the dead tree flies through the air into a boulder a little away, the trees _rooted, _now uprooted and fallen over, the leaves and dirt gone, like someone took a giant air blower to them.

My mouth is agape as I watch what happened, _it can't be possible, it SHOULDN'T be possible, but it is and the light? _It wasn't a light at all, it was blue and it glowed but…it looked more like a shield, _an energy shield, but like with little waves going through it, like fire, but slow. _ I look at my hands in amazement now, wow…um, I guess that means the 'find out through anger' trope is checked off as well, huh?

I let out a laugh, and watch the…shield retract toward me and I got a closer look squinting at the little detail, it was like energy was flowing through the shield and then it was gone. I walked over to where one of the trees got thrown to and sat down.

Well, shit. I run a hand through my hair and glance at said arm; the little azure-glow like veins didn't go unnoticed.

**XXX**

**A/N: What's up guys? Did you like this chapter? I know some of you are probably shocked at what I did with Bella, but this was 100% planned from the beginning. I did promise it was going to leave reality a bit and well, this is it! **

**However, this is not to mean that Bella needs superpowers to be a badass strong woman, that is why in the beginning with the boxing, was to show she can kick ass just as well without any, which she will still be doing btw, she ain't giving that up, but if you checked the genre, it also says Sci-Fi, well here it is!**

**Now, this chapter wasn't very action filled, but thats okay, too much action will take away from the story and I try to balance it lightly. I still hope you liked the chapter and that you continue to read it, even if it may not be going in a direction you wanted. **

**Thank you everyone who reviewed, favored, and followed me and the story! I hope you leave a little something this chapter as well! **


	15. Keyframe

**Keyframe**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight_

Danny's POV

My thoughts feel like a jumbled mess…_What happened? _I try to open my eyes, but it feels like someone threw sand into them, it itches. _I should scratch them, maybe that will help. _I try lifting my hand, but the whole limb falls back on what feels like metal as soon as I move a finger, like I don't have the energy to even do that.

_Why does it feel so cold? Did I pass out on the gym floor or something? _Why won't my body budge? " _Fuck!" _I clenched my eyes tight, even though they where still shut.

Everything hurt. My body feels like it's been made of stone. But why? _What the fuck happen-_

"Look, that little son of bitch finally woke up."

_I'm not alone in this place. Shit._

"What? Pretending you can't move or sumthin?",something very solid jabs into my side, my teeth grit against each other, "Come on you little fucker! What? Can't say shit now that you're cold out on the ground? Weak ass!" Another kick into my side, _motherfucker. Now I remember, Dad, he…fucking bastard! _ I try my best to keep my emotions in check, breath through this pain, Daniel, fucking breath!

"Did I say you needed to do that?" A new voice adds, sounding like they just walked in.

They other guy scoffs, "Like it'll matter, he'll be shipped off before anyone can find any trace of him anyway. His daddy sure didn't give a single shit 'bout him, his mom's to damn weak to actually do anything."

_I think that's one of those jackasses from that night._

"Just get your ass out to where the others are at before you end up like your friend."

My body grew tense at the other guys comment. I tried to swallow, but my throat was dry and my body didn't grow any less tense as I heard footsteps leave with no argument whatsoever. _Almost like the dude was to afraid to say anything._

"I wonder what so special about you." The curiosity in his voice didn't go unnoticed. _There's not a damn thing special about me. Let me go, please! _

I wanted to scream out in pain when I feel my hair being gripped my its roots, my stiff neck following upward, my nose met with the smell of cold cigarets and rotting fish.

"What kind of father sells their own kid?" That's definitely not compassion in his voice, "Pff, wouldn't be the first parent, now would it?" He lets go, my head banging against what I'm sure of now, is metal. _He's mocking me. _

"Ar…we…on…ship?" I try my best to get out, my voice raspy.

"So you can talk? Yeah, we're on a ship. But don't worry, no one will find you here. One could say it's well guarded." I hear the metals slight cries as he moves around the room a little. " You've been out for about three days, kid."

I choke, _three days_… _mom…is she?_

"Don't worry, your mother's fine and she will be fine as long as she knows her place and you cooperate. Although…" He lets out a little laugh at the end, edging on my already anxious mind with some suspense game.

"Wh-at, did yo-u do?!" My breaths grow shorter as I try to not think of the worst scenario possible. _Did they kidnap her? Is she here as well? What did they do to her?! _An image of my mothers panicked face as my dad held her back while the men he sold me to knocked me out cold. _Three day!_

"That friend of yours? That girl…pretty brunette, yes? Hmm, she might not be in the best condition." He's voice full of fake consideration.

…Bella? _What did they do to Bella? Why was she involved, I saw her leave through the window, how did they- oh god… _Did they have someone tail her? I want to throw up.

"She decided to come back apparently…wanted to fight your dad, asking all kinds of questions. Your old man is surprisingly still in good shape and ran, she followed behind, lead her into the back of an alley, tried climbing after your dad after he jumped a fence and she just…wasn't fast enough, two of my guys caught her _just in time_ and you can guess the rest. It's quite entertaining really!"

The laughter echoes through the metal room. My stomach turns at the thought of what the _rest _is. I feel something wet going down my check. _How…how the fuck did it come to this? I swear, I'll kill them all, I'll FUCKING KILL THEM!_

I squeeze my eyes tighter together, even as it hurts, the more pain, anything to wake me up from this nightmare.

I feel him moving closer to my face, his disgusting cigaret breath working into my nostril.

"Why are you crying? It's not like she's dead?" He scoffs, gripping my face in his hands tightly, "That bitch is lucky to still be alive. Whatever the hell _she is_." He slams my face into the floor, it's cold and I manage to crack my left eye open just a little bit, to see a glimpse of the bastards face, of the now hateful gaze directed at me. _What's he mean, what she is? _

"Maybe you should thank her, since she's the reason you're still on this ship. You'd been dead along time ago, your limbs sold to the black market. But she came back to save you, isn't she a good little friend?" He sneers at me, disgustingly pointed face and all. "The little bitch got away before anything _drastic _could happen, burnt my guy's faces, break their bones, and manage to cause one of them the have a seizures, rendering him _useless._ Loyal men are hard to come across, but I don't have need for _useless _men either."

There was only one conclusion to what he just said; they killed a man simply because he didn't benefit him…a lability.

"You can think whatever you want. I just want you to know that the only reason you're still alive is because of your friend, whom seems like someone to try anything to save her friends. You're nothing but bait."

He backs away from me, and I hear footprints to where I assume the door is, the loud metal shutting behind him, followed by a click.

A breath leaves my body, in fact, everything I've been holding back leaves my body. I lay there, trying my best to gain mobility of my body, or whatever is left of it, in a puddle of my own puke, on the cold floor.

My soul feeling like it's been ripped to shreds in a matter of minutes.

xxx

_A/N: Hi guys! Sorry it's been months, life got in the way. Ever since I got back from my 3 month long vacation in November, It's been school and work. I work in retail so, it's been nothing but a hustle since! And I finally got on answer from my university, and I got into my master program! I found out the same time I got told my nephew got born _ it's been quite exciting and not at the same time these past couple of months. So it's been looking for apartments and getting shit ready, applying for jobs and what not. And now we've got this virus, which puts that on hold. But I'm off for 2 weeks and paid, so lets hope I can get some writing done. Adulting sucks, but we must go on!_

_SO to the chapter! I've been struggling with a lot of changes, one of them being, I wanted to keep the story Bella only POV but I realized quickly that that's not going to work out for my story and for you guys to understand whats going on. Also having a creative writing major as a Best Friend to give you tips helps out! But she does not beta this. And I'm not good with editing, as I've noticed after reading this to her and wondering what the hell my writing is on sometimes as it doesn't make sense! I have a MAC top and it autocorrects and I don't know how to turn it off , also I write super fast, so I should work on that. SO I may try to edit some former chapters later on. _

_Well, I hope you guys liked this chapter, sorry it's not as long as usual or at least as it should be after 5 months! But I hope you all still like the story and have an interest. Send me some feedback, let me know what ya'll think!_

_-SIncerly, CrimsonMoon_


	16. Wake-Up Call

**Wake-Up Call**

Bella's POV

As I made my way back to the Clearwater's house, I really wasn't even paying attention to my surroundings, but somehow I managed out of the Forrest and back to the playground safely without being caught.

_Probably has something to do with this…thing I've got going on, _I think to myself and glance down at my hands. This was insanity, really. Shaking my hands, I continue on my way, thinking about this whole thing, only ever coming to one conclusion;_ I've somehow gained superpowers…_

Well, I mean…Edward did always say that there was a shield around my mind, making him incapable of reading my thoughts. Maybe this is just some manifesto of that?

…or maybe I'm just insane?

_Thinking about this is making my brain hurt. _I rub my temple in frustration.

I walk up those familiar steps to the house and pause for a second, leaning into the door a little, my eyes narrowing, _foot…steps? Two pairs, probably Dad and Sue. _I lean back; this is just so freaky. To think my hearing bettered this much. I carefully open the door, announcing "I'm back."

"Bella, are you alright?" Sue came down the hallway, her eyes are full of worry and I feel a little bad for being out that long without warning.

"I'm fine…I just needed some space, everything is starting to be a little much." I explain to her. Hopefully that will calm her nerves a bit. She reaches down and grabs my hands into her own,

"Just remember that you don't have to go through this alone. You still have your friends, your family, and…well, he's a little silly at times, but once you get to know him better, he's really just a boy who's lost…" She glances to the side when she says this and it doesn't take a genius to figure who she's talking about. Letting out a chuckle, she turns back to me, "You're not alone, honey, you have a bigger family then you realize." I return her smile, Sue is starting to feel more like a second mother to me.

"Thank you, Sue…I'll try to remember that." I say genuinely. I look around a bit, my thoughts in a daze, "Can you ask dad to come down here…I need to talk to him again."

The woman smiles at me and nods, "I'll tell him, he's upstairs taking a nap." She lets go of my hands and turns toward the stair case.

Once she was out of sight I was left alone to my thoughts, _I need to talk to dad about this somehow. _Lifting my hand up and looking at the back of it in confusion, something I never really thought I'd have to think about pops into my head. _Dad is really ordinary…and mom is kind of crazy, but she's normal, so how come this is happening?_

I clench my palm, some of the light from outside reflects onto my skin. I don't want to think about where my brain is heading with this…_am I adopted?_

That doesn't make any sense to me, because I look like the perfect mixture of Charlie Swan and Renee Dewyer, and that's a fact.

_Also, I've seen my birth certificate…yeah, but like, what if it's a fake so I don't find out? _

I let out a snort; lets come back to reality before we have a mental breakdown in this hallway.

I don't look up when I hear my fathers footsteps walking down the stairs, _they sound careful and small. _I roll my eyes, I mean the man is a cop, so of course they do!

"You're back." Is all he says to me and I look to him.

"Sorry, I really had to think a little bit."

He nods and runs a hand through his hair, _Ah, so that's where I get it from. _I note silently.

He walks closer and pats me on the shoulder, "You needed to think I get it. Things haven't been easy for you." I snort at this; they sure haven't and something tells me that they probably wont be anytime soon.

"Dad…I'm exhausted." I let him know and he takes a step away. I watch him closely as the words leave my mouth, for once speaking a truth that needed to be spoken, "I'm tired…I know that the healing progress is supposed to take long and that there's going to be bumps along the way, but I'm getting tired of it. I just want peace."

My fathers face looks like I just broke his heart. His eyes are wide and unsettling, mouth slightly open, like I just told him I wanted to kill myself…which is not what I meant, but the words left my head before I had a chance to think about what I wanted to tell him. But my words are sincere…I am tired of it, tired of something always getting in the way when I finally thought I found some kind of normal.

"Bella, do we need to call- " "No." I cut him off firmly, "I didn't mean it like that…I'm just exhausted because it feels like there's always _something…_like I can't catch a break." Explaining this further, I watch his face relax.

He leans forward and embraces me, "I know slugger." Dad talks into my hair, "But you have to keep calm and hope for the best. Things will get better eventually, but you're a lot stronger then you think, hun."

I return my dads hug and laugh a little at his words, "When you and mom had me, did you ever think it was going to be this dramatic?" I ask out of curiosity and secretly fishing for something I'm not sure I need to know.

"Not really." He answers in a calm manner. Part of me freezes, nothing changed, his movements where calm, "You used to be a little extrovert from the day you where born till you came back to Forks…your mom and I used to be scared of what kind of teenager you would be." He continues to tell me and takes a step back smiling, "Other then the Edward thing, our worries were for nothing, but I was worried about the fact that you seemed so much more grown for your age then you should be, I thought my little bird left the nest too early, but you seem to have a handle of most of the things you need to know."

"Oh? Only most?" I joke at him turning away, trying my best to keep the tears that seem to be threatening to come out, out of this conversation. Dad and I have a good relationship, that doesn't mean we aren't still awkward as hell.

Dad lets out a laugh, shaking his head, "You've still got a bit more to learn. Honestly, the learning never stops, I still learn things about life everyday."

"Huh." I let out, a little surprised at my dads confession. I feel his hand on my shoulder giving me a pat. I turn toward him and warp my arms tightly around him, burring my face in his shoulder. Dad doesn't hesitate to return my hug, and somehow I feel my grasp tightening even more, something in me is almost afraid to let go.

"I'm sorry." I whisper out weakly, tears escaping in victory. I feel him let out a grunt, "You don't need to apologize, Bella. You're human, it's only natural for life to want to come and kick ass every now and again."

I let out a sniff at his words; _Human…_

I try to blink away the intrusive thought, but it doesn't help keep the doubt away.

"Bella?" Charlie questions, confusion in his voice.

"Hmm?" I hum in response, still hugging my dad, soaking in every ounce of affection I could in this moment.

He shifts awkwardly, "I know you've been working out, but you're getting pretty strong there kiddo? Are you taking steroids or something' ?" He jokes about the last part, but I immediately let him go out of concern.

"My bad." I laugh off, rubbing my wet, burning cheeks. Dad also lets out a little laugh and in a blink it feels like the situation turned light again, everything except the feelings eating at the back of my head,_ I don't think human is the right word to describe me…but then what would?_

_xxx_

_4 days later_

My eyes feel like they're about to fall out of my skull, "Urgh…".

"You alright there?" one of my fellow librarians asks me, a perfectly shaped eyebrow raised.

Blinking in Sarah's direction, "It's not doing what I want, my eyes feel like they're about to burn out of their sockets and I'm ready to take the biggest nap of my life."

She lets out a laugh and shakes her head, "Sweetie, why don't you go put some of those returned books away?" she points toward the cart of books and shrugs, " Maybe moving your body will help? And since Daniel quit, that pile has been growing more and more."

Ah, yes. The news about Danny wasn't quite out to the public, so Daniel's mother called and told them that due to "circumstance", he would not be working here anymore. No one blinked twice at the odd call. Younger people never stayed long enough for anyone to get close enough to anyway. It was just another teenager quitting to do who-knows-what in their eyes. To be honest, I'm sure the main reason might be some of the more older, more tenured staff, that has been working here forever and shove their old traditional ways down everyones throat when they catch you doing some other way.

Slowly turning in my chair toward the books, I continue to stare at them…

_Usually it's Danny who puts the books away, _I bite my lip as the headache returns. I rub the side of my temple and get up. I hate this feeling…helplessness. It reminds me of how useless I am when it comes down to it.

_But this power I have…it's something strange and terrifying. _An image of destroyed trees popped in my head. My eye twitches a bit, _definitely not useless, Bella._

Grabbing the book cart, I start pushing it, "Be back in a bit."

Sarah nods her head as she goes to greet a customer by the desk.

Turning the cart into an aisle, I stop and start putting away the books. I've been up and down these aisles a lot these past months, getting lost in the world of books is my specialty ever since childhood. Their worlds are fascinating, how just words can create something so magical. Smiling at some of the familiar titles, I graze their spines with my finger tips.

_It's funny how all the books I've read and none of them could have ever prepared me for this life I have. I mean, how could they? _It was never meant to be real. But now that it is, it sometimes feels like I accidentally fell into one of these books. My eyes couldn't roll farther into the back of my skull, _what a shitty story I fell into!_

My arm drops to my side as I turn to shove the cart into another aisle down a couple rows.

"Did you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"That boy that worked here for a couple of months? Apparently his _mother _called in and quit for him! I knew he was a trouble maker from day one, Janice! I knew it!"

My ears perked up a bit at this conversation, _I bet it's those two old hags. _I swallow a grunt of annoyance and try to focus on finding this books proper spot on the shelf.

"Tsk, what did you expect? He's gotten very friendly with that girl as well, what was her name? Ella? Annabell?"

My eyebrow twitches and mouth falls into a frown, gripping the book a little tighter then usual, _Seriously, I've worked here for a couple months now and they still can remember my damed name? Bella! It's Bella, how hard is that for you to remember! _I let out a breath, maybe it's signs of Alzheimers? _And who gave them permission to talk like that? How rude!_

"Hm, yes that girl, Bella. You know, I've seen them leave work together sometimes. I bet you they did what all these teenagers do, drugs and hook ups, disgusting."

"Have you also seen the way she's been acting? Perhaps he's dumped her and that's why he's quit."

My jaw clenched at this. How dare they assume dumb stuff like that? _Damn old ladies don't have anything better to do! _Take a breath Bella. This is nothing new, we're just going to go on about our job and get this done with. _Do it for the paycheck. Money is always nice to have. _I roll my eyes and shove the book into it's proper area, turn around, grab the cart. _Let's just go to another area of the library._

"Linda, I'm pretty sure he's knocked her up. I've seen that girl went she first started working here, what a skinny little twig she was. Ever since they started getting…_close_ to one another, I couldn't help but notice she's _gained weight. _Hmpf, there's only one explanation, Linda; a baby. Just another single mother living off of welfare."

_…__Okay, so screw the plan. _As the last thought crossed my mind, I pushed the cart out of my way, and stormed around the corner, my glare finding the two old ladies.

"Apologize." I demand, arms crossed.

The two older women, Janice and Linda, stood their in shock for a moment, but that silence was of course opens her mouth, "Young lady, I don't know where you think you are or to whom you're talking to, but that is no way to talk to your your parents not thought you the proper manners?"

"Oh really now?" I shoot at the one who spoke, "So it's _manners _that allows employees to gossip to one another about other employees of the work place? The way I see it, Ma'am, you're both being disrespectful and unprofessional." Just as one of the greying lady's was about to open her mouth, I add, "And you're talking about my _friend _and _myself_, so I believe it it my right to demand an apology out of the both f you."

The red hair dyed one spoke up next, letting out a scoff, "You demand an apology? Child, you and your generation of entitled children may believe in such nonsense, going around demanding stuff. The truth however, is that you will not receive anything like that. You call us disrespectful, yet you're the one who stormed up to us, throwing orders at women whom have worked here far longer then you have."

Teeth gritting against each other, I continue to glare at her, _and this is why I don't talk to these people. They call me entitled and they wont even be held accountable for their own actions!_

"Now, it's best you finish your work dear. It's not good to be lazy on the job, it reflects poorly on the rest of us." Before I even had a chance to disagree, they turned the corner, not before sending me a side eyed look.

I blinked as I stood in place. _What the fuck was that!? _"Urgh…" Letting out a groan, I massaged my temple, _why did I even get angry enough to storm up to them in the first place? If anything I probably made it worse!_

"I need a break." I groaned as I pushed the cart to another isle.

xxx

It took about another hour, but once I finished up, I returned back to the desk at the front.

"Ah, done already?" Sarah chirps from her chair. I nod and go to take my seat in front of that monstrosity of a computer.

"Don't get to comfortable yet, the boss asked for you." She informs me, one side of her face turning downward. I raised my eyebrow at this. That's odd…

"Okay, um I'll be right back." Getting up once again, I make my way toward the back area where the main office is at. It wasn't anything special, just yellow colored walls, fluorescent lighting that made you want to never look in the mirror again and office furniture that hasn't been replaced since the 70's most likely. I shake my head, go up to the boss's door and knock three times.

"Come in." the faint sound of his voice gong through the door.

"You wanted to talk to see me?" I ask hesitantly, as I step into the office.

"Ah yes, please have a seat, Ms. Swan." My boss, Mr. Gilbert, a man in his early 50's gestures to the seat across his desk, while letting out a sigh.

I bite my lip as I take the seat. Somethings off about this. I've never been called here before, the timing is way to convenient, _that temper is going to get you in trouble on day. Shit, what if?_

"Now, Ms. Swan, I've been made aware of some troubling news concerning you. I must say, it came as quite a surprise considering you are one of my best workers here." He begins to speak. I swallow, because even I already know that those two hags went to the boss with my outburst. If you can even call it that…maybe.

"I understand that you are also quite young still and may be going through something, but that does not give you the right to act as you please and yell at your fellow coworkers." _What absolute bitches._

I blink at him, "Mr. Gilbert, with all due respect, I did not yell at them. I simply informed them that their behavior was unprofessional and that they should apologize for gossiping about another employee." I defend, my hands gripping the end of my shirt.

He lets out a sigh, " Yes, you may have a point in some way, gossiping in the work place is unprofessional, however, you should have come to one of the supervisors first, before making a judgment on your own. I'm sorry Ms. Swan, but perhaps that it something to remember that for your next job."

"What?" I ask in confusion, "You just agreed that it was unprofessional of them, then why-,"

Cutting me off, he lifts his hand and hands me a piece of paper, "Janice has filled an official report of harassment against you. While this may seem unfair, I have to let you go, so this will not reflect badly on us. We understand your need for some kind of…justice, but such drama is not needed in the workplace."

To say that I was shocked is an understatement. I took the paper from him, and sure enough, that bitch filled a report against me. _Oh my fucking god, you have gotta be kidding me. And he's still taking her side even though he agreed with me?! Drama? What drama, I just called them out on their bullshit. _Putting the paper back on the desk, I let out a grunt. This is bullshit and I don't need this right now!

"Fine, whatever. If this it the type of people you have working here and what you defend, then don't wonder why good people keep quitting." I get up and storm out of the office, down the hall to the break room by the lockers. Grabbing my bag out of it, I slam it shut and just stand there for a moment.

_I just got fired. _Collecting my breath was difficult. I'm pissed. He took their side…not because my point was wrong, but because they've probably known each other for some time considering… "Tsk, really, of course I would get fired." Taking another deep breath, I calmly make my way out the door.

_Out of al the shit, I don't need to deal with this. It's not like I was planning on being here forever anyway. _

"What happened Bella?" Sarah asks me, her gaze drifting to my bag, "Oh are you leaving early today?"

My grip on the strap tightens as I calmly turn to her, "Sort of…Apparently today was my last day."

Her eyes grow wide, "Did you get-''

"Yeah. Sorry, I guess you'll have to deal with that crap computer again by yourself." Joking has never been my strong suit.

Sarah just smiles sadly at me, knowing there was nothing she could do to help me, "You're a great kid Bella, and I'm sure that you'll end up doing greater things then working in this dusty old library. Not that working in a library is terrible, but you know what I mean." She gets up from her seat and walks around the desk. The next thing I know, I'm being embraced. "You'll be all right. It was a pleasure working with you."

"Same to you." I answer as I hug her back.

xxx

My head bangs against the steering wheel with a 'thud'. I got fired. It hit me suddenly as a wave of sadness overcomes me. _It's not like I've been wanting to stay there forever, but….but nothing, it's just like Sarah said, I'll find a better job somewhere else. _I have a headache, a giant, pounding headache. I should go home a take a nap or something, _or I cold go to the gym and let out all my pent up frustration from the disaster this entire fucking week has been. _

The Gym it was. Surly that will help calm me down a little from this shit fest.

xxx

I found a nice corner to rage in where nobody will bother me, also it's in the afternoon so most of the guys are still at work, _Punch, punch, jab, jab,cross, jab, punch. _I've been at it for at least an hour now and nothing is making me feel better, _punch, jab, jab, high side kick, twirl, punch. _Breathing heavily, I wipe the sweat off my forehead and continue on with my frustrations, imagining it was one of the old ladies that got me fired, "Grrrr!" Throwing my punches harder, the image shifts into one of Daniels father, "Fucking jackass, piece of shit!" _Punchpunchpunch high kick to the throat._

"Stop."

Ignoring the command, I continue to let out my frustration on the innocent bag.

"Did you not hear me? I said STOP."

Turning around in a rage, I yell, "What!" only to be greeted with the glare of Eddie. _Oh…_

"You're angry." He states, his glare turning into a frown.

"Really, I didn't notice." Rolling my eyes, I turn back to the bag but what I see stops me in my tracks. _What the?_

Eddie walks around me and to the bag, pointing at it, "I don't think you did." Touching the bag, he shook his head, looking back at me. "The martial art's can be a great way to let loose pent up anger. But this ain't anger. this is rage, girl."

The bag that I've been punching for a good hour had hole in it with sand pouring slowly out of it…I blink at it, _I did that? How did I not notice that?_

"I'm…sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen." I tell him honestly, feeling guilty, _I think those are expensive too?_ "I can pay you back somehow?"

Eddie just scoffs at me, "I got plenty more don't worry. You're not the first, neither will you be that last, trust me. However, I've seen you come in plenty of times just to let out anger and it makes me wonder whats going on in your life to cause that much distress."

"I don't really want to talk about it." It wasn't a lie, i really didn't want to talk about it.

"That's fine. What I really have a problem with is how it seems to be a continuous thing, Bella. Not noticing that you punched a god damn hole through the bag has me worried. It's not the way the Art's are supposed to be used, that's not why I decided to teach you." Shaking his head in disappointment, slowly walks over to the door.

My mind froze, as I'm being lectured. Has my anger really been that bad? _He's making it seem like I'm just constantly angry! _But as my thoughts alone are getting rilled up, I can't help but wonder how I have this much anger in me…_I thought after talking with Paul, this wouldn't be this bad anymore. Why is everything so screwed up, I was getting better, so why is this happening?_

"I hate to tell on of my students this but I think it's best you take a break and get your emotions in order." _There it is…today is not a good day. _"I know you got dragged here by that boy, wherever he's been these last couple of days, but I see that look in your eye. You need to deal with whatever is going on in your life instead of running away from it."

"I'm not running." I throw at him, "And I don't need a break. There's just a lot going on right now and I've been talking to some people, but-"

Eddie lifts his hand up, "Whatever it is, kid. You need to figure it out before you hurt someone. Sometimes talking about the problem isn't enough. Take a break, go home." And with that he leaves to go to his office.

I stood there in confusion. More confused then I've ever been. Today hasn't been a good day, and it all feels like it's been my fault. _I thought I was getting better…_those are the words that have been running through my head these past couple of weeks. Was I really getting better, or was I just kidding myself into thinking I was?

No, I refuse to think like that. Yes, I was making progress, but I've never been good at actually dealing with my emotions. No matter how many times people tell me they love me, they're here for me, I can't seem to get a handle on my own shit. Taking in another deep breath, I let out a loud groan. _I need fresh air. _

xxx

The park in Port Angeles was a thousand times better then the one in Forks, if you could consider the one in Forks even a park. Flowers, playgrounds, picnic grounds, and I'm here near the little lake they have, trying to clear my head for the hundred thousand times this fucking week alone.

_Vampires and Werewolves are real_; I should be used to that but I'm really not, even though it's been two years.

_Paul Imprinted on me; _that was a fact I needed to accept somehow no matter how much I hate it.

_Daniel's been kidnapped; _I feel helpless and I want to do something to find him. I haven't known him for that long, but he's my friend. I would do it for any of them.

_I nearly got Raped; _putting it into words makes me want to throw up as a shiver went down my spine.

_I have magical powers that I don't know where they came from or what they really do, other then taking out forests and making me glow, which is terrifying!_

_So getting fired really isn't that big of a deal, but like, money was nice to have here and there. And I'm being forced to take a break because my anger has been getting out of hand._

"How does a normal person deal with this?" I wonder as I kick a rock and watch it bounce into a trash can and into the lake. _They don't, thats why their normal Bella, which you aren't. Come to fucking terms with it already._

I let out a sigh at that. Easier said then done. _It's time to grow up. Things have never, will never, be easy. This is just a bump in the road, as Marina said there would be. Things will not be easy, this is definitely one of those things._

I close my eyes as a breeze blows by, my hair gently flying with it, before settling back down. It's a nice day out for the most part.

"AAAAAAHHHHRRRGGGG!"

I open my eyes, my lips pulled tight, _there goes that nice day._

I look around, trying to find the source of the scream. Seeing movement from a little down the path, I squint my eyes. It looks like a woman and a guy, what is he?…

My eyes widen, oh shit! I run toward them, "Hey!" I yell out in hopes the guy lets go of the woman's neck.

He looks over to me, and glares, "Fuck." Cursing, he looks at the woman, and slams her into the tree, before running toward _me. _

_I keep getting myself into fights too, let's add that to the shit list. Whatever, I'm not trying to actually fight anymore today! _My irritation is at its limit.

Ducking down, as the guy begins to swing at me, I stick my leg out, making him trip, and grab his wrist. "God, I'm so sick of people like you!" I say before twisting his arm behind him, "What the fuck did she do to you that you had to try and strangle her, huh?" I grab him by the front, looking him in the eyes, "Answer me, dumb ass?!" With a swift kick to the groin, he yelps out in pain and I throw him to the ground.

"Fuck, why are you so strong!" He cries out, holding his wrist. _God, it's not like I held it that hard! _

"Hey, I'm the one asking the questions, give me one good reason why I shouldn't fucking throw you into the ocean?" I get down and take him by the collar. He looks up, ready to throw insults at me, when I notice his eyes grow and mouth quiver.

"WHat the fuck is wrong with you?" He shout out, trying to wiggle out of my grasp. I titl my head in confusion, glancing down at myself; I feel fine…then I see it.

Blue glowing veins in my hand. Jerking my head up, the fear in his eyes and the reflection of my own, now glowing the same color as the veins in my arm and apparently the left side of my face. _Oh no. No no no no no no! Fuck, how do we explain this, what do I do, what do I do. _I gulp.

Taking a fast glance around me, I was lucky that no one else was around. Taking a glance back at the guy, I'm sure no one would believe him, but until then…

I punch him really hard, knocking him out. Standing up, I look down at my hands, as the veins slowly disappear, letting out a sigh of relief. I run a hand through my hair, it's time to go home now, for real. Just go home. Nap.

"Ex…scuse me? Ma'am?" Oh what now! I twirl around, on my foot and look at the lady I even did all this for.

"Yes?" I answer tightly.

"Um, thank you for that. If it wasn't for you, I don't know what would happened." Her voice was small when she thanked me, I can't help but smile at her. I've been there more then once, I get it. Maybe that's why I keep getting myself into trouble.

"Don't mention it. Although, you should probably call the cops. Don't worry, he won't get up for quite some time." I tell her as I kick him one more time, _what trash. _

A realization hit's me hard; I would have never been able to help someone the way I did if I didn't have these powers. I look over at the woman, dialing for the cops. I saved someones life today.

Eddie was right; I have to stop running away from my problems.

xxx

A/N: This chapter hurt to write. Physically hurt to write. My carpel tunnel is screaming at me from finger tips to elbow. My back is on fire. But I've been working on this for about 2 weeks now (Motivation; lacking), and I just wanted to get it out there and finish it up. It's a little crazy, because so much happens, but I hope you guys liked it! I'm hoping after this chapter, things in the story will start to progress a little more faster.

Anyway, I hope you all are staying safe and inside. Things have been crazy in my part of the world now (USA, in case you haven't guessed lol). I had to file for Unemployment for the first time in my short life, and let me tell you, that hurt my pride…but my company decided to do a furlough, so at least I can go back to work once this is all over, and I live at home (even though I'm supposed to be looking for apartments up in the city area for Grad school and move out in May, guess thats not happening, I'm 23, it's TIME!), so crazy parents at home. I can't say I'm complaining too much, first world problems minus this pandemic, I've got it better then a lot of people out there. I miss overpriced fancy coffees and thai food…and taco bell…and chick-fil-a even though it gives me a stomach ache.

Anyway, enough with that. Seriously, stay as safe as you can, and if you are sick, I hope and pray you get better soon!

-CrimsonMoon


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